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Success Principles – Jack Canfield

♪ [music] ♪ – [David] Hello Achiever. I’m very glad to do a new interview. I am with an amazing guy. He's the author of many books but you have to read this one in English, “The Success Principles” and if you are French, “Le Succès Selon Jack” He's also the author of “Chicken Soup for the Soul” and he is the American top speakers and author in America. And you have to follow him. He is with me. He is Jack Canfield. Hello, Jack. – [Jack] Hi David. – How are you? – I'm good how are you? – I'm great. I'm very glad to do this interview with you. It's very inspiring for me because you're very inspiring. – Thank you. – I have many questions but first of all, I would like to let you introduce yourself. Who are you, Jack? – Well right now, I'm known as America's number one success coach. I am a trainer, a coach, I have a coaching company where we train people from 81 different countries by phone and by Skype. I am a trainer. We do our trainings on breakthrough to success, maximum self-confidence, building self-esteem and achieving peak performance. And I also recently have started a train the trainer program where I'm training people all around the world to do this work. So far, we've trained 500 people from 40 countries and we now are coming online with a, I’m so excited about this, a home study program where you can actually download and watch all the exercises and get all the instructions to become a coach or a trainer, and to do experiential exercises for people. So, people that can't come from Iran because they can't get a visa, or they can't come from France because it's too expensive, or they can't come from Somalia because it's really too expensive, they can now watch this online and then they get certified by taking a test and also providing us with some videos. So our goal is 1 million people teaching this by the year 2030. Yeah, we're going for a big time. – And you are well known to achieve big goals. – I am. We've had half a billion books sold. Our goal is by 2020, for our books to have sold a billion. So we're halfway there. And what happened is, in China, a few years ago, they decided to take all of our” Chicken Soup for The Soul” books, put English on one side and Chinese on the other of the pages to teach the kids how to read English. And with stories that are interesting exciting rather than the usual stuff that you learn in school. So I think we’ll easily hit our goal of a billion by 2020. And everyone told us we're crazy. We thought we want to do a million a half books in the first year and a billion by 2020 and our publisher laughed at us and now he has a private jet. So he's not laughing anymore. – You are used to have people who will say to you, “It's impossible. You can't do that.” – Well, the trick is everybody has limits in their thinking. They have limiting beliefs, they have fears, they have a lot of self-doubts and inner critic that says you can't do it. And the truth is, pretty much anybody can do anything unless you have brain damage. But even recently, one of the things I'm excited about, this new 10th-anniversary book, is all the stories in the first book which came out in 2005 where famous people, Olympic athletes and professional athletes and top movie stars and generals in the army and people have heard of these people, like Bill Gates who started Microsoft. In this edition, we've replaced all the stories with people who read the first book and actually applied those principles and now their lives are amazing. And one of this, from a guy named Forest Wilet who was lying in bed in Canada Toronto, and he had…he was in a car accident and he's had a severe brain injury. And so he saw me on TV and I said, “Come back in a minute. Jack Canfield will teach you how to get from where you are to where you want to be.” He was in bed for two years, totally depressed, reading at the third-grade level. They told him he’d never read again, he'd never be able to earn a living again. And he got his wife to get the book. He couldn't read it. It was just too hard but he had his wife read it to him. Sometimes, a page a day. And over the course of that year, he got out of bed, started being undepressed, got off all of his medication, started to take a tutor to teach him how to read. And now, four years later, he is a motivational speaker. He's helping people all over the world get a…He said, “If it's possible for me, it's possible for you.” And literally, we've had people on homeless shelters and their sister gave them the book, people in rehab centers who hadn't worked for years, a guy in China in prison for two years. His wife bribed a guard to get him a copy of my book. He came out, now he's a major real estate investor, he started two restaurants, he's opening up a chain of restaurants all around the world. So I know that whatever your situation is, nothing is impossible. – And yes, let's continue in this topic. I would love to know, because a lot of people are reading books, attend to seminars, are watching videos. They read the same book but not everybody has the same results. So according to you, what are the common factors of the people who has amazing results? – Well, they do the work. I always say the success principles work if you always work the success principles. There was a guy over in Manila and he captures the essence of what your question is. The name was John Caleb. And he interviewed me for a newspaper and at the end of the interview, I said, “That's the best interview I've ever had. That was really good John. How long have you been doing this?” He said, “You're my first interview.” I said, “That's not possible.” He said, “Yes, it is.” It turns out he was bankrupt. His restaurant went out of business because he was fighting with his partners. He was couch surfing meaning he was surfing people's couches because he didn't have enough money to pay rent. He had sold his car. I asked him how much money he had, \$3.28. I gave him a \$20 bill to buy dinner and get a cab home and I gave him a copy of my book which I had to buy from the bookstore where he was interviewing me. I said, “John, read everything in this book and do it and your life will change.” So I come back two years later to Manila, in walks John in gold Dr. Martens shoes with his blue blazer with beautiful logo and gold on it. Nine guys behind him in polo shirts with the same logo. I said, “Are you the guy that interviewed me?” He said, “Yeah.” I said, “What happened? You look different.” He said, “I am. I'm the number one speaker in Manila, I have a house, a condo at the beach, two cars, a radio show, a TV show, a book coming out, and my seminars average between 800 to 1000 people every time I do it. I made a million last year and I'm trying to make 2 million this year.” And I said, “What created that?” He said, “I looked at your life and you were successful. I was not. You looked healthy, you looked 15 years younger. You were a millionaire, a multimillionaire, speaking all over the world.” I said, “I'm going to read that book and do everything in it for one year, everything.” I think he may be the only guy that ever did everything in that book because it's a big book. And he said, “Because of that, I'm now successful.” So it's the people who believe it's possible, who don't just read it for entertainment but read it and say, “Okay, I'm going to do every exercise. I'm going to take every action step. I'm going to practice every practice.” And success doesn't happen overnight. It took John two years to get there. The average person takes about, they say 10,000 hours, to become an expert or a master. Now we know you can actually… – Malcolm Gladwell’s, right? – Yeah. Malcolm Gladwell's books and also there's a book called “Talent is” “Overrated.” He studied and got his information from. And basically, that's about seven years to become an expert neurosurgeon, a great actor or whatever. But we also know, if you work with a master, you can get there faster. So if you have a master teacher in meditation or a spiritual teacher or a master coach like some of these coaches that are coaching tennis players like Rafael Nadal and people like that, you can achieve much faster. But I know anybody can get from anywhere to wherever they want to go. It may take you a few years, you might have to learn new skills, you might have to… – So let's speak about that. You have many principles in his book. According to you, what can be the top five principle we have to understand and apply now? – Well, there's actually more than five. It’d be like me saying you can keep your heart, your lungs, your eyes, or your kidney, which one would you choose. You need them all because it's a system. So the first 21 principles in that book are a system that takes you from taking 100% responsibility for your life and we can delve all deeper into this if you want. Then you have to decide what is your purpose in life. Then you have to create a vision for the manifestation of that purpose. Most people don't know what their life purpose is. Then you have to set goals to make the purpose…break it down into measurable steps. You have to believe it's possible, believe, it’s possible for you. Then you have to use affirmations of visualization to reprogram your subconscious mind so that it becomes a problem solver for you. The subconscious mind is like a computer or like your GPS system in your car. You put a destination in, it will figure out how to get there. But you have to know how to put the destination in so your subconscious can really work on it which requires visualization because we think in visual images and also affirmations because we also think with words. Then you have to take action. You have to have an action plan, you have to take action. If you don't know what to do, find someone who's already done it. Because everything you want to do, with very few exceptions, someone has already done. And they've left clues in the form of books, training, seminars, webinars, franchise manuals, whatever it is. And then you take action and then you have to respond to the feedback. Most people give up too soon and they don't listen to the feedback. People are telling you, “This is working. This is not working.” There's positive feedback, there's negative feedback, there's external feedback. People don't come to your store. Nobody invites you out to dinner. There is internal feedback. You have a headache at the end of every day telling you you're off course. What you're doing isn't fulfilling to you at some level. You need to change. And then we need to ask, ask, ask, ask, ask. Most people are afraid of rejection. So we need to reject rejection, realize if I asked you to have dinner with me tonight and you said no, people go, “Wow. Thousands or millions of people saw him on TV and he got rejected.” Well, I didn't have anyone to eat dinner with before I asked you. I don't have anyone to eat dinner with after I asked you. My life didn't get worse. So we have to reject rejection. Then we have to persevere in the face of all obstacles and failures. “Chicken Soup for the Soul,” which is what I’m mostly known for around the world, half a billion books sold in that series, we were rejected by 144 publishers. It took us 18 months to find someone to publish the book. – How did you find the motivation and the energy to be perseverant? – Well, it’s what I said earlier. You have to believe it's possible and never give up. Persevere. So… – And how do you believe something is possible? – All beliefs are a choice. It's a choice. You either choose to believe or you choose not to. Most people are looking for external validation. Well, no one in my family ever went to college. I don't know anyone 21 who is a millionaire. I don't know any woman who ever became a secretary of state in our country, Hillary Clinton did, but whatever. So we’d never had a black president before so a lot of people thought Barack Obama couldn't be elected but he said, “No, I can.” And he did. So the idea is you just choose to believe it as opposed to choosing not to believe it. And you choose to believe the common norm of everyone or the feedback you're getting or you choose to believe your own self. – Let's speak about your beliefs. So you decide to say okay… For example, let's take a true example. For me, I believed that succeeding in America is possible for a French guy. It's my belief. – Yes. – Let's imagine that I believe that in my head but sometimes, I feel that my body decrease my energy. I feel something in the body. So how can I manage the gap sometimes between what you say in your brain and what you feel? – Yeah. Well, all these feelings are created by thoughts and some of the thoughts are conscious. Like my dad never worked in a factory, all my brothers work in a factory, what makes me think I could be a doctor or a movie star or whatever? And so, there’s those beliefs that are conscious but there's also unconscious beliefs. Beliefs you made or decided or were told when you were a child, maybe you were three years old, eight years old, whatever, money doesn't grow on trees, girls can't be presidents, whatever it is. You even forgot that you learned that. And all of a sudden, through some of the exercises that I have in my book, you can surface those limiting beliefs. The reason your body responds negatively is your unconscious doesn't believe it yet. That's why it's so important to use affirmations and visualization in a repeat… – Let's give an example for people who don't know what is an affirmation. – So an affirmation is a statement that something you want, you've already got it. So it could be I'm so happy and proud that I'm now sitting on the balcony of my house on the Pacific coast of Malibu overlooking the sunset. So and I don't have a house in Malibu but I keep affirming that. Or I could affirm I have everything I need to do anything I want or I'm smart enough to accomplish any goal I have. Or the more I believe it, the more I achieve it. Whatever it is, you're repeating that. – And do you have to believe it when you say it or not? – No. No. You just have to repeat it. And because we've been told certain things like you're not smart, stay away from that, you'll never graduate, you're going to end up in jail. Sometimes children have heard those things a thousand times, maybe more. And so, you have to overcome that. It's like pulling weeds out of a garden and replacing them with something positive. We have this thing called the law of replacement. You cannot get rid of something unless you replace it with something. If I say stop sitting there, there is no such thing as stopping sitting. You have to stand up. You have to do something different. And so, the same is true with our thoughts and beliefs. And so using affirmations, you can also tap, there is this EFT tapping where you tap on these acupuncture points and while you're thinking and– – Do you use it? – I do, totally. I wrote a book about it called “Tapping Into Ultimate Success.” And I work with EFT specialist to look at what is every negative belief that comes up when you go through the success principles and now we have a tapping protocol for every negative belief. So literally, if you spend a month tapping on every limiting belief you have, like it only takes maybe two or three sessions to eliminate it. You can even get a list of 101 of the most common limiting beliefs and you muscle test yourself to say, “I totally and unconditionally love myself. If your arm goes weak, it means you don't. So now we can tap on I don't love myself, I don't love myself, I don't love myself, et cetera, and take that down to a zero. And then all of a sudden, you muscle test again, you're arm's strong. So I'm not smart enough, I don't know enough people, I'm not worthy of success. There's all these limiting beliefs people have. We can tap those out. And I have a whole protocol of tapping in the new version of the book, the one just came out, the 10th-anniversary edition. So we have all the technology that we need to eliminate anything that's stopping us. But most people are not aware of it or they hear about it and they think it's too simple. Or they just think…they don't want their friends to think they're weird. But the point is, anybody… I ran a workshop in Chennai, India for 8000 Herbalife distributors and we tapped out tons of beliefs in those three days that we were together. – I can see that you are flexible that you add some new techniques during your journey. – Always. – So is it a key of your success for you? – It's one key. I'm always looking at how can we get there faster and easier and more fun too, if possible. I used to have people beating on chairs with like towels and screaming, “I hate you,” to get rid of their negative emotions. And then I discovered something called “The Sedona Method” where you just close your eyes and experience it, and say, “Could I let it go? Would I let it go? When?” You say, “Yes,” and then it just disappears. Or you can use tapping. So things that used to take me an hour and a half with people now take five minutes. – I would love to know because the more I'm succeeding, the more my time have to be managed. And how do you manage the time between production and the time between being trained, discover new trainings, travel the world to meet people? How do you manage that? – Well, when I first began, I would take a weekend workshop, almost every other weekend. There was one year I took 38 weekend workshops. The only ones I didn't take was New Year's, Christmas, Easter, Mother's day. They weren’t offering anything. So in the beginning, I just was soaking it all up as much as I could. – I know that. – Today, you can watch TED Talks on the Internet, you can go to YouTube and learn how to do tapping and all these things you want to learn. You can go to YouTube and probably watch 65 hours of Tony Robbins or 50 hours of me teaching this. So you can learn a lot. And today, I schedule about five or six workshops a year that I go to, meditation retreats, new techniques like tapping, and so forth. And then I also started an organization called the Transformational Leadership Council which has 140 members from about 40 countries and we get together twice a year for four days and we teach each other stuff. So a lot of us, just don’t have time to go to each other's full workshops but we're quick learners because we already know a lot of the basics. So we might have a three-hour session on a form of meditation or a three-hour session on a new breakthrough technique for breaking through limiting beliefs or working with how to access your psychic powers or your intuition and so forth. So a lot of my learning occurs there and a lot of it occurs online. I've read over 3000 books. I used to read a book a day. I took a speed reading class called PhotoReading which I recommend to everybody. And then I began to realize I learned more when I took a workshop than I was in reading books. So I read a book a week now. So 52 new books a year and to stay up when I read a lot on the Internet. – I would love to know, so you know, the more I am famous in France, the more it's hard for me sometimes to attend to seminars for two reasons. Sometimes it's because it's hard for me to have new informations and sometimes also it's not easy to belong to people who know you. So how do you manage that? – Well, I just, at the beginning of the year, I schedule things I want to go to. Then if someone wants me to go to a party or run a workshop, I say no. If like my sister were getting married, I would not miss that. So my wife and I schedule our vacation time, I schedule my conferences I want to go to, and I also schedule the workshops based on all the things available. I look at what I want to do. And then I have a balanced day. I get up every morning, I meditate, and I exercise, and I do a gratitude process and I visualize my goals as already achieved. Then I eat breakfast, then I go to work. I spend two hours working on my number one project before I look at any emails. And then I'll look at my emails and then… Every day is a little different. Like today, I'm doing media all day long with you and the radio. – So it's amazing. One of my question, what looks like a day for Jack? – Well, the first part is always pretty much the same. I get up around 8:00. I go to bed late. So I don't start my day in the office till 10. And I probably work till 7:30 or 8, and then I come in and with my wife until about 11 o'clock or midnight and… But today, it's mostly media. Another day, I might be writing all day. Yesterday, I spent the day rewriting a workbook for one of our workshops that we just finished and I thought of 10 ways to improve it. So I did that all day long and worked with my staff. So we're going to to do another one in August. So all that's done now. I spend days writing. When I write a book, I usually kind of really jam it all in and just do like 16 hour days of writing. I can remember like I threw away my company– – You can stay 16 hours? – I can. Everyone thinks I'm the energizer bunny that never stops, the Eveready battery ads. But I just have that energy and I think it's probably because I don't have any resentment anymore in my life. I've forgiven everybody. I eat really healthy food. I cleanse occasionally, do fast, and things. I'm doing the work I love to do. I think what Thomas Edison, who invented the lightbulb, said, “When your vocation feels like a vacation, then you have made it.” So I love what I do. And so often, my wife has to go, “Go to bed. Stop.” But when I write a book, I might start like at 6:00 at night and the next thing I know, I'm just doing it and doing it. And then I start to hear birds singing and I go, “Oh my God, it's morning.” And then I go to bed at 6 in the morning, get up at noon after six hours, and do it again. And I like to do things intensely. So when I'm in a training room, that's all I focus on for a week. If I'm traveling, doing workshops around the world, that's all I do. I don't answer emails or anything. And when I get home, I might just do two days of catching up and then… – So for an example because I can see that with my girlfriend, we have to manage more and more of time. How do you balance your life between your business and your wife, for example? Do you schedule the time you have together? – We have a date night every week if I’m in town, Friday night. We used to have… Friday night used to be family night but my oldest…my youngest is 20, she just moved out. So that's over. And so, we have a date night. We do a lot of walks after dinner. We'll walk around this area. As you’ve seen, there's a lot of open spaces and we'll go for maybe an hour long walk. On the weekends, we'll walk on the beach. We schedule our days and times together… – Is it important for the balance to know when you… – Yes. And you have to sit down. Everybody is different. My wife's… I don't know if you’ve studied the five love languages. The idea that when you're giving someone…when you’re trying to express love, some people want to hear words of affirmation, I love you, you're important. Some people want quality time. So if my wife, she's quality time. So I just listen and I node a lot and say, “Thank you. What else?” And so we know that we have to do that at least three or four times a week or she doesn't feel loved. For me, I'm physical touch. If you don't touch me and nurture me and make love with me, I don't feel like I'm loved. Some people are acts of service. You wash the dishes without being told.some people are gifts. If I don't bring back… I have one person on my staff. If I go out on an around the world trip and I don't bring her a gift, she thinks I don't love her. So basically, you have to… – How do you know how someone is loved? – You ask them. – Easy. – It's really easy. You say, “Here's the five love languages, which one do you think you are?” And they go, “Oh, I love gifts.” Or you can do things like give them words of affirmation. If I tell my wife really cool stuff, she goes, “Yeah, whatever.” But if I do something for her or if I listen to her, those are her two main love languages, she's happy. So basically, also people kind of tell you they get upset if you don't give them a gift or they'll say, “If I can do anything for you, what would it be?” “Oh, take me out to dinner.” “Or help me with this project.” So just ask. I think that's a really important thing in relationships. How much time do you need a week for you to feel loved? Some people, it's not much. Other people, it's like every day for two hours. – For example, let's imagine that your wife say, “Okay, I need you five days a week?” – Well, how long each day would be my question. See, my wife, when we first got together, I was in a time where I had a lot of free time. And so, she got spoiled and she thought I was going to be like that forever. And then I started to have to go back to work and do a lot of travel and she got very upset about it quite frankly. And she realized…I helped her realize that she was looking to me for everything: for humor, for love, for contact, for communication. I said, “You have to build in some friendships. You can't get it all from me.” One of the big mistakes people make, especially women, is they want their man to be everything. And so, sometimes you have to have a couple of best friends who provide listening, who provide talking about things that men don't want to talk about. You have to give your man, as John Gray says in “Men Are from Mars,” “Women Are from Venus,” cave time. Like Monday night, it’s my night. My wife can't ask me for anything. She can’t tell me I shouldn't watch “Monday Night Football.” She can't say, “We should go somewhere.” It's my night and that’s scheduled. So it's a rhythm she can count on. But I also have to do the things that we agreed to on the nights that are her nights. For some people, they get up in the morning and they lie in bed for half an hour and snuggle and talk. And other people, they jump out of bed and run. So each person, you have to work out so that you’re both getting in easily. You're building a business, she wants more of your time. Okay, let's compromise. In life, we go through two stages. When you start a business, you have to work your ass off. When the business becomes successful, you don't have to work so much. Now you get to travel around the world and have nice things, and a big house and lots of time and you can hire help and so forth. So you know that…and then when you have a baby, that's going to change everything, trust me. – I can see that. My partner has a three-year-old baby and just being next to him, I can see it's challenging. – It is. Because you've got another person now who wants your attention, who needs your attention. – And a lot of attention. – Yeah, and especially when they're really young. The older they get, the less they need. When they’re really young, they don't feel safe if they can't see you. And then later, they don't feel safe unless they can hear you somewhere in the house. And eventually, they can walk around the block and they don't care where you are. And then when they're 18, you're like, “Do you ever come home?” So you have to be appropriate to each stage of life and negotiate and compromise and work out the agreements and the changes. – You told me something very important. You told, just before, about gratitude. I met many, not many, I met some millionaires or billionaires who are not happy and it was very interesting because they have a lot of things that people dreams about. So what is your secrets, if we can call it like that, to be to be happy, to have gratitude in your life? What is the way you do that? – Well, basically I have interviewed over 11 billionaires and lots of multimillionaires and.if they're not happy, it's usually that they're focusing all their energy on money and things and not on relationships. It's relationships that really make you happy. And I’d never met anyone on their deathbed who said, “I wish I'd worked harder.” They all say, “I wish I’d spent more time with my children. I wish I'd spent more time with my wife and friends. And so, it's a habit that gets established by these hard charging type A billionaire people. And then they start to feel responsible. Many of them are competing who's got the biggest car, who's got the biggest boat, who's got the biggest company, who's beating the other competitor. And there's a lot of fun in competing and playing the game and keeping score and all that, but I think the secret to happiness is learning to meditate so that you're happy inside. A friend of mine wrote a book called “Happy for No Reason.” Most people… – Yes. I met her. – Marci? – Yes. – So most people think that there has to be a reason out there that made me happy: my kid graduated from college, my son got his first job, I got my Porsche, you know, whatever. And I admit, when I went to Africa for the first time in Cameroon and we saw people that were living on \$2 a day that were happier than my son, who was with me, who was going to private school, had everything he could possibly want. And he said to me, “Dad these people don't have t-shirts. I get upset when there is a spot on my t-shirt,” because he’s very into fashion and all that. And it made him realize that external things don't make you happy. In fact, the more stuff you have, the more stuff you have to take care of and maintain and worry about it being stolen and all of that. So for me, meditation, because you learn to soothe yourself, calm yourself. Learning to forgive everybody and not carry resentments and all that. To get out of fear. A lot of people live in fear, fear of loss: fear of loss of their money, fear of loss of their reputation, fear of loss of face, whatever. And I think to look at what are the things that make you happy, I'll give you an interesting example. I was up in Canada on a TV show and it was like Oprah, with lots of audience, people. And there's this one woman, we did Q\$A with the audience. This woman said, “My husband died seven years ago. I haven’t been happy for seven years.” Now she thought she wasn't happy because her husband died. And certainly, there's a period of grief but it should last about two years, no longer than that. And then, did you get sad at their birthday and things like that? I said, “Well, what did you use to do seven years ago that you're not doing anymore?” She said, “Well, I used to paint. I used to play music on the piano. I used to go out with my friends,” and she was…gardening was another one. I said, “Do me a favor. For one month, I want you to play the…” excuse me. “I want you to play the piano every day, I want you to paint every day, I want you to garden every day, and I want you to call a friend and spend time and if you can, go out. She wrote me a letter about a month later saying, “I'm happy again.” Why? Because she was doing the things that made her happy. So in my… – She was believing it was cursed to her husband but… – Exactly. It was the fact she wasn't doing things that made her happy. We all have things we love to do. And whether it's pet your cat or play the guitar or go shopping or who cares what it is. And I have people in my workshops make what I call my joy list and they have to write down 20 things they love to do that make them happy. Sometimes, people refer to it as the anti-depression list. So whenever you're not feeling happy, go to your list and do one of those things. It's not that complicated. – Yes. You talked about your son, you’re a father. I would like to talk about one of my fear. My parents are not rich and I developed my success in working and I love that. I'm very proud of what I created in France in less than two years. But sometimes, I have a fear that… The fact I'm becoming more and more rich, my son or my daughter will be born or…it's weird maybe but sometimes I have the fear that they will not have the…the fact that I was born in this kind of circumstances, it helped me to find the motivation to grow, to learn, to travel, to ask questions. It cost me a lot to travel to meet people like you but I have the motivation inside. It was a question for you on how to manage how you can share the desire to grow and learn when your child has externally everything. – Well, I have three sons and a stepson and a stepdaughter. My two oldest sons, they were not born into rich. I wasn't rich yet. Because one of them is 43 the other one is 39, I think. So that wasn't the issue at all. With my youngest son and with my step children, they were born into this kind of a house, with everything. However, whenever they wanted something that was beyond normal, like they wanted…my stepson came and he said, “I want to get a pilot's license.” He was 16. He actually got his pilot's license before his driver's license. And I said, “Great. Find out what it costs and I'll pay for half, you’ll pay for half.” It was \$2000 and I said, “You got to go get a job.” So he got a job in a boiler room selling newspaper subscriptions and he was really good at it. And he made the money. Within a month, he had a \$1000 because he was getting all these bonuses. And he went and learned how to be a pilot. When he wanted to fly, it was like \$200 an hour. I said, “Great. You get the first 100, I'll get the next 100.” Or I could have said, “It's up to you. You want a car, go buy one.” I always matched him because I wanted them to know I supported them. But he wanted a BMW for graduation. I said find out what one costs, I'll pay for half, you pay for the other half. So if you do those kind of things, you don't just spoil them and give them everything. Certainly, they're going to go on better vacations than most kids go on because you're going to take them with you to nice places and that's good. It makes them global citizens. By the time my kids were 18, they had been to Africa and France and Italy and Mexico and so forth. They feel comfortable everywhere in the world. That's a gift. That's very nice. But like my son, who is graduating college this year, we've been paying for his room and board and all that. It's called that ends as soon as you graduate. You've got to go out and get a job. – Thank you very and so, it's helping me to see how can I help them. It's a tough question. – It is a tough question. And a lot of kids in America have been spoilt. They're, what we call, entitled. – I don't want that. – They get shocked when they have to actually go earn a living. – I love to focus on the beginning. I would love to know what was or what were the triggers that have passed you, that have passed your success to the next level. I mean I would love to know if there are some key factors or triggers who activate the growth. – Well, I think early on, I had a Latin teacher in college who said, “You should go to Harvard.” And I thought, “I'm not going to get into Harvard. Are you kidding me?” But I did. She made me apply and I erased my self-esteem. Wow, I'm smarter than I think I am. And then I had a guy in Chicago named W. Clement Stone. He was a self-made, worth \$600 million, a friend of Napoleon Hill who wrote “Think and Grow Rich.” And I ended up taking a workshop with him once and then he basically said, “I want you to come work for me.” Because I had been teaching high school in the inner city, all black kids, and they didn't have anyone that was in that area. They were all working with white kids in the suburbs. So I went to work for him and he taught me. I bet, I'd say about a fourth of what's in my book, I learned from him, about how to be positive and set goals and expect the best and use affirmations and act now, do it now. – How old were you at this moment? – I was probably 23. Yeah. It was a change for me. And then there was a guy named Jesse… – I am 25. – Yeah. There we go. See? There was Jesse Jackson, who is a civil rights leader in America who worked with Martin Luther King. He turned me on to social consciousness of being social justice and the civil rights movement. So I was very involved in that for a while. And then I started…I worked for a guy who had a training company and then he said, “I think it's time for you to go out on your own.” I was a little scared but he said, “Take it to the next level.” So I've had people that have encouraged me along the way. Sometimes you just have a meditation and you just get, I need to do the next thing like write the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” books. That came in a meditation. I started the Transformational Leadership Council which is, I love this organization. That came in a meditation. I need to be connecting with other people. I was scared. I was afraid. Why would people want to join me? I was like, even as successful as I was, I still had those self-doubts. But I always say, even though you have a doubt, do it anyway. Do it scared. Don't be afraid of being afraid. So I invited 30 people, we sat in this room with the brown chairs behind this couch about 10 years ago and we started the organization, 30 people. And they all joined and so, there has been these moments where I just got this inspiration to do the next thing. And each time, usually a little fear comes up. But as I teach people, you can tap the fear out. Don't let it run you. Fear is an illusion basically. We just scare ourselves by imagining… – You create your fears by the image, by the picture. – Yeah. We imagine bad things. We imagine bad things are going to happen. People will reject me, it won't work, I'll lose my money. And you can use that same function of imagination and create the positive picture. So now, pretty much everything that comes up, I just say, “It's going to work. Let's do it.” – I have many questions so I will select my last, last questions. I met Mark Victor Hansen and you worked a lot together for “Chicken Soup for the” “Soul” and I'm working with Alvin and I would love to know, how did you manage your…because the last time I saw you on stage, you talked about sometimes you were challenged by the way he was working. It's not the same way to work [inaudible 00:36:09]. So can we talk about that? I would love to know how did you attract the right partner and how did you manage the relationship to work together? – Well, Mark really attracted me. I wasn't planning to have a partner. We had breakfast one morning, we had known each other for a number of years and when he asked me what I was working on and I said, “This book.” He said, “I want to do it with you.” And I said, “That's like asking a great novelist who's written over half of a book to let you finish it with him. Why should I do that? He said, “Because I'm really good at marketing and sales. I have a lot of stories that you don't know about that I think would be good in the book.” I had 70. He said, “I can get 30 more.” And he did. And we had our challenges. There were times where I felt like he wasn't pulling his weight through at times when he probably felt I was pushing him too hard. We're very different in personality. He's very expansive and kind of hyperbole. I'm much more calm and slow natured and detail oriented. But it was a great marriage because I'm the one who primarily edited the books, he was the one that primarily went out there and got everyone excited about them because he’s got this great bombastic personality. So it was a match made in heaven. I always tell people, “You don't want to surround yourself with people exactly like you because then you're missing functions that you don't have.” So it was like a marriage. We have to really kind of date a while and before you commit to a 50-50 partnership, but it worked out really well. And a couple times, things got a little dicey. We would just have a friend, who's a mediator or a coach come in and help us talk it through and three hours later, we were fine and we just kept going. – Yes. What kind of challenges did you have to manage together to stick? – Well, Mark's kind of ADB, like all over the place and doesn't concentrate very well. And so if you're really trying to get something done, that was frustrating. He liked to tell a joke every 10 minutes or get up and walk around. “Mark, Mark, we're trying to focus.” So eventually, we said, “Look, don't come to those meetings. Come to the marketing meetings and the sales meetings.” So we learned how to use the best of each other and not make each other run for it. I remember, there was a woman named Byron Katie who teaches this… – Yeah. I love what she's doing. – Yeah, so do I. And the first time I was introduced to her, someone gave me a cassette tape to listen to in my car. I was driving from L. A.up to Santa Barbara and I was kind of mad at Mark that day for something. He did something where… Mark would always give people…if you asked him for a testimonial quote for your book, he wouldn't even read. He’d just say, writes good stuff about it. And someone had written a book on sex toys and asked Mark if he would give a testimonial and he said, “This book is like “Chicken Soup for the Body” or something like that and it was really inappropriate for our brand. Because our brand is very much, you know, you can read anything any book to your children. There's nothing risque about it. And I think that was like Mark showing up in a thong or something. It just wasn't right. So I was a little bit upset with him. We got him to resend the testimonial and it all worked out but I'm driving home and I'm listening to Byron Katie say, “What's your belief about how this person should be?” And I think, “He should never do that, and he should show up on time, and he shouldn't over-exaggerate things and yadda yadda yadda.” And then she said, “Can you know that's true?” And I said, “Really, I don't know.” Can you really know it's true? No. Who would you be…who are you when you think that? I feel angry. Who would you be without that belief? I'm relaxed and calm. So I let it go. I went through about three of those little repetitions and then it was like, “Well, I need to be more outrageous. I need to be…” Like you have to own the turnaround statement. So that was very helpful to let my beliefs about how he should be and start relating to him how he was. And really appreciate what he brought to the table and not resent him for what he didn't bring to the table. Because no one can bring everything to a relationship. – And I would love to know also because sometimes when you… How did you manage, because you didn't work the same amount of time and how did you manage the proportion of the money you would get from different projects. – Well, we had determined earlier on we were going to be a 50-50 partnership. And partly how that scaled out was Mark's wife, Patty at the time, she ended up taking over all the legal work and doing all the contracts and protecting us when people would violate our trademark and all of that. And also the licensing because we licensed out the name actually to dog food, cat food, all kinds of foods and t-shirts and clothing lines and all that. So she handled all of that. So between the two of them, they really held their position in terms of the 50-50. Without Patty, it might not have been so fair. On our side, we took all the responsibility for the editing, and the production of the books, and soliciting for stories and all of that. So they were kind of a little more the business side, we were more of the production side and that's how it made it fair. – I know that “Chicken Soup for the Soul “ is self-produced. Why did you choose to be produced by a publisher? – Well, actually “Chicken Soup for the Soul “ was published with health communications. So after 144 rejections, we would have published it ourself, self-published if we had to, because we wanted the book out there. But I didn't really want to be a publisher. I didn't want to have to deal with warehousing and distributing and printing books and all that. I really wanted to be a teacher and a trainer and a coach. So basically, that's why I work with the publisher. Now, we make less money because we get maybe \$2 a book as opposed to \$10 a book. But I'm not complaining. We did very, very well that way. – Okay. So you're focusing in what you love. You love to teach people so you want to… – Absolutely – Invest your time in teaching people. – Yes. – Okay. How can people follow you and continue to… I know that you are coming in Italy in Tuscany? – We're coming to Italy, I think, in July. – In July for your… – Yeah. In Florence. – Private event? – Yeah. We rent a villa outside of Florence and they can come to that and they can come to our trainings here. They can and do our online trainings. Just go to jackcanfield.com. That’s my name. J-A-C-K C-A-N-F-I-E-L-D.com and everything you need is there. All of our books, our audio programs, our trainings, our coaching program and it's a very robust website with lots of options for people to learn how to take their life to the next level. But the main thing is that book is where anyone should start, “The Success Principles.” – I love it. – Thank you. – I have read a lot of books and I love to read stories and one of the stories which inspired me was the story of the luge man and I met him finally. – Yeah. Ruben Gonzalez. – Yes. I met him. He has very inspiring stories. – I love him. I met him too and I just fell in love with him. – He has a great energy. – Yeah. He's incredible. I love his story where he said he was in the gym. He was working out next to some big famous boxer and the guy said, “What do you do?” He said, “I'm an athlete.” “Well, what do you do?” “I'm a luger.” He said, “You should never say you're a loser.” He said, “No I'm not a loser. I'm a luger. I do the luge in the Olympics.” And I just love him. He's a good guy. – Yes. He is a good guy. My last question, it’s a small question, is I am 25 years old, what advice would you give me to succeed in this life and especially in America? – Well, in America you have to really build up a reputation. So in this day and age, you have to make sure you've got a lot of stuff on the Internet, you're easy to find, and you've got to be stuff in English as well as French. Build up your social media campaign. So you're constantly doing video blogs and constantly putting out free material. People start…in America, they want something free to start with and then you can start charging people for things and then you can kind of move them through the funnel from a book to a training that they buy and listen to at home. And then they maybe come to a \$1000 weekend workshop and then eventually, maybe a \$20,000 boot camp that you put on. And the other thing I would say is just never give up. Just keep on keeping on. And when you start here, there is so much competition but you have a great personality. You're attractive. You're someone that believes in things. And the thing that's interesting about America, people with an accent always do better than people that don't have one. So all the people I know, like the National Speakers Association that have been presidents have either had an English accent, a Lebanese accent, a Southern accent. So it makes you more interesting to people. So I would definitely take advantage of that but probably start a YouTube channel and get a lot of stuff on YouTube would be another important thing to do. – So you don't believe that I have to eliminate my accent? – No. No. Women love a French accent. Are you kidding me? – I'm not sure she will be happy to hear that. – Yeah. I know. As long as they can understand you, which you’re easily understandable, you'll be fine. – Okay. Thank you very much, Jack. I loved this interview. Thank you. – Okay, David. My pleasure. Thank you very much. ♪ [music] ♪

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