Ronda Anderson – How to succeed as a woman ?
Transcript of the interview of Ronda Anderson
David Laroche: I would love to know your opinion on how to unleash the female power within. What is your opinion on the differences between male and female and how to succeed as a woman?
Ronda Anderson: It's funny. I was thinking about this the other day. By the way, the way that I build these stellar, high-performance sales team is nothing other than working with every individual human being to understand where they want to go, where they're at, what's in the way, determining the level of buy-in that they really have in what they say they want, and their willingness to really identify and work with the obstacles. So it's the same process all the way through.
Historically, I have not made a distinction between male and female; and I've trained thousands of sales people of both genders.
When it comes right down to it, it's all about the human being, being very clear about who they are and what is important to them. So it's not just “What is the value I, Rhonda Anderson, can bring to you?” but it's about “What constitutes value to you and is there a match? And will my bringing this value to you be of value to me?”
So in looking at the differences between men and women, I think what happens is that men tend to be quicker decision makers and more decisive.
When we talk about what really makes somebody powerful, it's the level of clarity about their goal, their congruency in terms of lining up their words, thoughts, deeds, and actions behind it, and their level of commitment to hitting that goal.
What all that requires is that other possibilities get closed off. Once I decide I'm going north, I cannot be going east, west, or south at the same time.
And I think, from then, it's easier to instantly make a decision and close off all the other avenues and just move forward.
David Laroche: Yes, I see that in my couple.
Ronda Anderson: And with women, whether it's genetic or societal, we tend to be more multi-faceted and multi-tasking; and it is more difficult for us to shut off one line.
For example, you take your average woman, maybe she's married; maybe she has kids or she doesn't have kids. But in her world, the husband does not cease to exist; the laundry doesn't cease to exist; dinner doesn't cease to exist “because I'm trying to hit this goal.”
“My kids don't cease to exist. These things don't get closed off the way they can for men.” And I'm not suggesting that men don't think about their wives or their laundry and all that stuff. I'm just saying that we're sort of trained and possibly genetically different in that way.
So it's a little bit more difficult for a woman to take the one target and only focus on that.
Staying inside the feminine power, the key is always to ride the horse in the direction it's going. Assume that whatever shows up is the route you're supposed to take. It is the best thing for the moment. It is always working for the best.
So if I'm a woman who is having trouble sifting through the infinite possibilities to the one thing I want to focus on, then, I will use those infinite possibilities to swirl around to what serves me the most in this moment knowing that I'm not selecting against these other things.
So it's the difference between decision and choice. Decision is “I'm going north—no south, east, or west.” Choice is “South, east, and west still exist. I'm choosing to go north for now.”
It's holding the decision or the choice more lightly. It's been such a male-dominated world for so long that the patterns for success tend to fall in that clear-decisive, clear-decisive, and clear-decisive.
That's an important energy. And we've all agreed that clarity and having a single target is the seat of power, and then lining up behind it.
But the way to get to that clarity isn’t always closing off every other possibility. Sometimes, it's just prioritizing them.
David Laroche: Maybe a lot of women try to do the same as men and struggle a lot because it's harder for them to focus on one way; and maybe they can focus on one way after they've tried more opportunities and follow what they want to do. Maybe after, they will be more focused.
Ronda Anderson: Yes.
David Laroche: I love that. It's great. I'm very happy to share that with women.
Ronda Anderson: Good. I think it's helpful.
David Laroche: I think it is very helpful. I believe a lot in the power of modeling to learn quickly. Do you think a woman has to follow a model?
For example, if Julie who is next to us wants to write a book on how to become a speaker, do you think she has to model after a woman or can she model after a man?
Ronda Anderson: First on the topic of modeling, you're right. It's the fastest way to learn because you're picking up patterns on all levels. By the way, women are particularly good at learning that way. Because we're multidimensional, we're picking up patterns and information from everywhere more consciously than men do, so modeling is a great way for women to learn.
You don't necessarily have to model after a woman; what you have to model after is somebody who embodies the way of being that you want to adopt.
Now, you can do that in two ways. You can find somebody who most completely embodies the way you'd like to move through business and life.
Or, let's say, for example, you're just trying to develop a particular skill, all you have to do (again, this is the power of choice over decision) is recognize that “what I'm learning from Paul Lemberg is how to think about strategy in this certain way. My whole self doesn't have to become him to learn that. I can maintain my own feminine power base, understand who I am, and that I am acquiring a valuable skill, a way of being that he has strength in that I don't have. And I can let that part of me model after that part of him without losing the rest of me.”
David Laroche: I love that because the difference between Julie and me, and I think it's not because of the sex but maybe the typology of personality. It's easier for me to learn from someone without wanting to be like him but just to focus on one skill. I would like to learn from others how to speak.
In my opinion, Julie, sometimes, struggles to find a mentor because “Ah, there's something wrong in his personality so I can't have him as a model.”
So you're suggesting learning to just focus on one skill. You don't have to become like him.
Ronda Anderson: Yes. And the way that you can do that… because just saying, “I want to focus on one skill…”
David Laroche: Because it's easier for me…
Ronda Anderson: It's easy for you to say and it's easy for you to do. I don't know Julie but I do know women. From the feminine perspective, that is impossible advice to implement. However, when you're taking that advice from the perspective of “harness the power of choice as opposed to decision,” decision says, “Just focus on that one quality of his and only model after that and don't think about the rest of this.”
We're not wired that way.
However, say to us, “Take everything in. Select that which works for you and let the rest go.”
That we can do.
David Laroche: Great! I love that.