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How to make a difference and leave a mark ? – Debbie Dachinger

David Laroche : So hello Achievers today, we are in Beverly Hills, just next to Los Angeles, and it is awesome. We are in the Four Seasons with an awesome guest. She's a major personality and best-selling author of “Dare to Dream”. Maybe you know her. She's Debbie Dachinger. So hello, Debbie.

Debbie Dachinger : Hi.

David Laroche : How are you?

Debbie Dachinger : I'm wonderful. Happy to be here.

David Laroche : Me, too. So I let you to introduce yourself. You'll do better than me.

Debbie Dachinger : Thanks, David. I'm Debbie Dachinger. I'm a media personality, which means I do a lot of radio and television. I'm a best-selling author of a book that just won some magnificent awards.

David Laroche : Yes, the [inaudible 00:01:07].

Debbie Dachinger : That's part of my dream. And in addition, I'm known as a goal achievement expert. And so that operates in a lot of different ways, everything from doing media to doing speaking to coaching mass amounts of people and things like this.

David Laroche : Yeah. Why don't we talk about goal achievement, because it is a very important thing, right?

Debbie Dachinger : It's tremendously important to me and it's everything I teach, yes.

David Laroche : So it is my first question. I will like to know, do you have some tips? I'm sure you have. Do you have some tips how to achieve a goal?

Debbie Dachinger : Yes, of course. I do. And there's tips, there's everything from what I feel the recipe is, the exact steps to get there, and there's also things that people need to do in order to overcome their own self-imposed limitations. So I would say, as far as the direct recipe to make a goal come true, is…

David Laroche : Yeah, it is two questions so I would like to have the two answers.

Debbie Dachinger : Okay. So the first answer is here is you, there is your dream. That's your treasure. How are you going to get to your treasure? The first is you have to desire it. You really, somewhere inside, need to have a fire in your belly that feels like there is something out there I want to do or be or experience. And once you have that desire, then you have to decide. And I know from personal experience, and from people I work with that in order to decide you must have both feet in, meaning that you are 100% committed to this journey. The next thing is, number two is to write. Write your dream…

David Laroche : Your goal.

Debbie Dachinger : …on the top of a paper. Exactly. Write your goal. And then write what steps are going to take you from where you are to your dream come true.

David Laroche : Wait, what do you mean by steps?

Debbie Dachinger : I mean that in order to get from where you are to where you want to be, it's not about wishing. It's not about thinking. It's not about wishful dreaming. It's about taking massive action. It's about doing whatever it takes with harm to none in order to get where you want to go. And so you need to plot it out. Maybe you need to do research. Maybe you need to figure out what kind of calls you need to make, what kind of education you need, what kind of gifts you need to acquire or new talents. Or maybe you already have them but you need to plot out a map, like anywhere you travel in the world, how would you get from A to B? You would sit down and figure it out and then you'd buy the tickets and you take the steps to get there. It's the same way with your dream. So you write out the steps, understanding that those can change, and they often do. They get modified or you learn more. And then the third piece is that things often come up in our path. We're on our way to our dream. We're taking massive action. And something happens. Maybe something that we really wanted to occur doesn't quite work out like we thought. Maybe somebody disappoints us. Maybe we disappoint us. Or maybe we keep trying the same thing over and over and we know this…

David Laroche : It doesn't work.

Debbie Dachinger : Yeah, it's not working. Or maybe fear keeps popping up and convincing us not to do this anymore, or doubt, or many other what I call dream busters. And this is so essential, at this point, is to understand how to keep going. Because the winners, the successful people, the people who make dreams come true, they are the ones who get to that point and they figure out a way to get through. How are they going to get through this self-imposed obstacle? What are they going to learn about what's going on in order, when they come out the other side, they're going to know better and do better. That's resilience. And so once they heal and deal, the next step is to keep taking action. You wake up every day, you take out your sheet, you look at what steps you need to do, you follow those steps, you cross things out, and eventually you get to your dream come true. And when you do, it's so important. The fifth step is to celebrate.

David Laroche : Celebrate.

Debbie Dachinger : Really acknowledge who you were when you started, what it took to get there, what you've achieved. And once you've achieved it, enjoy the view.

David Laroche : So look at the journey, your journey, and see wow, I did so many things, right?

Debbie Dachinger : Yes, and because at the end of the journey, what happens is we've changed. We've changed because of what we have agreed to do. We've changed because we realize how limitless we are, how capable we are. We've changed because now, the next dream is probably going to be bigger. And we'll have more confidence in our capabilities.

David Laroche : So you achieve one goal and then you can reach another, bigger and bigger and bigger. That's right.

Debbie Dachinger : Yes. We inform ourselves of what we can really do.

David Laroche : Cool. I would like to come back in your first step. You are talking about desire. I think it's very important thing because if you don't have desire you will not take massive actions. So how we can have this desire? How we can unleash these desires, this fire? How can we do? Because a lot of people maybe, “Oh, I would like to have more money. I would like to have a big house. I would like to travel but I don't feel a desire.” Would you know what I mean? Some people are maybe goal but they don't feel something when they think about. How can we activate the desire?

Debbie Dachinger : Desire is fire. And if that fire is being squelched, being put out, there's a damper on it. And that moisture that's dampening the fire inside is always something else that comes from within. So in other words, there's always a desire. There's a big yearning, a big something that wants to pull us forward. But anything that comes and caps that off is something, some kind of pattern that's probably ruling our lives in a lot of areas. So when that happens, and I hope I'm answering your question, when that happens it's really important to harness the original desire, to stick with that. To understand that when we watch an athlete on television, let's say, who's running track and running up to a hurdle, do they run up to a hurdle at full speed and then when they get to the hurdle completely stop and go back to the finish line? No, we probably wouldn't watch them on television. Does an athlete run up to a hurdle and then say, “Ugh, I can't do it. I just can't do it. I'm too afraid. The hurdle is so big. I'll never get over it. Look, everybody's better than me,” and run off the field? We wouldn't watch them on TV and they probably wouldn't be a world-class athlete. So it's very important for us when we come up to the hurdles in our lives that we learn how to get over them and through them. I would say desire is everything. And trust that. If we were given the dream, we were also given the power to make it come true.

David Laroche : Okay. Great. And I would like to come back to another thing. You are talking about how to overcome some things. Do you have some keys to overcome fears, to overcome obstacles? When you are thinking actually to reach your goal, and you were saying about the fact that the leaders keep, I forget the word.

Debbie Dachinger : Resilience.

David Laroche : Yeah. Can we talk about that?

Debbie Dachinger : Yes. Everybody's got something different, which makes us all very unique and interesting. And I think that there are many ways that we can take care of those debilitating feelings when they come up. First of all, feelings are energy. Everything is energy. And if everything is energy, it can be changed in a moment. It can be changed by a decision. I can look at fear and I can let it rule me and decide that fear knows better than I or than my desire or my dream. Or I can decide that I know better. And if I know better, I can keep moving forward anyway in spite of the fear. Fear is generally put there by us at some time in our life to protect us, but it really isn't effective anymore. Same thing with doubt. Doubt is saying, “I have a lack of certainty that something is going to happen.” Same thing when we look outside of ourselves and say, “I can't do this because what will others think of me? I can't do this. I have to show up for other people. I can't really be all of who I am because I don't know how that's going to be perceived or received out here.” So generally, all of these feelings I'm talking about, they have a tremendous amount of energy outside of us and not a lot of energy about harnessing that desire within us. And so we get up to those hurdles in our lives, we can one, keep going anyway. That voice that has been holding us back does start to diminish over time. If it's really, seriously debilitating there are amazing people out there, amazing healers, workshops, things that we can align ourselves with to help. And I would say overall, we have to recognize it for what it is. That it's just a way to sabotage, really. What if we were as huge and as amazing as we were built to be? What if we allowed ourselves to be that big and to play that big a game? Most of us are never taught that. We're not given the tools and we're not given the insight that we're really that magnificent. And if we came from that space, then really what is fear? Fear is just something that shows up as an energy and we can acknowledge it. Thank you for sharing. And just keep moving forward anyway.

David Laroche : Great. I would like to have your point of view about some things. There is a lot of speakers, authors, entrepreneurs who are helping people, which we too. And do you know why some people have this content, [inaudible], have the tips, discover the tips to succeed in life and don't change. According to you, why do some people succeed and why other people don't with the same seminars, with the same audio books, with the same books?

Debbie Dachinger : What a good question. Really, why? That's a great question. I can only tell you about myself and what makes me different. And I'm hungry. I'm really hungry. I've always been hungry to know more, to learn, to change. And pain is a great motivator. Things that don't work out, great motivator. I know what it's like to not have dreams come true. I've lived that kind of life before. I've lived inconsistency. And frankly, it wasn't acceptable to me. It was not okay for me to experience that knowing how much life I had in front of me. So at a very young age, I decided, probably not consciously at first, but whatever this takes, I'm going to get through this. Whatever I need to change inside, to look at, to be responsible for, to own, to move past, to heal, to alter, I'm in. Bring it. You know? I think other people, frankly, are so married to their story. “Mm, this is the way it is. This is the way it's always been. It'll never get better.” It's kind of this very sad sack energy. And that's not to make fun of people, because actually I'd like to inspire everybody to know what's possible. There's frustration in that. But overall, I really think it's about the hunger and the willingness. The willingness. What are you willing to do? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to make your dream come true? Because if that's so, you're probably also willing to do whatever it takes to learn from workshops, and learn from leaders and masters, and even from yourself. We have so much inherent wisdom inside of us that we can tap into. So it's really all available.

David Laroche : Yeah, I think so.

Debbie Dachinger : I think that this whole world is predicated on change. And we're part of this world. We don't like change, generally, because there's a discomfort with change. But the truth is, if you look at nature it's always changing. Animals, always changing. And if something happens for nature, for plants, for animals that doesn't work for them, they modify, right? They adapt. They find a new way to eat, or be, or do so they can survive. It's very interesting when you look at that. We're a part of that. We're energetically a part of everything. So as much as we may try to avoid the idea of change, the truth is it's always going to be upon us. We can choose to do it mindfully or we can have it happen to us and try to resist it. Change will happen anyway.

David Laroche : Yeah, I think so. Well, you were talking about responsibility. Can you explain more? What do you think about the fact, that ability to take responsibility in this life? What is it and how can we learn to do that?

Debbie Dachinger : Well, responsibility is the ability to respond. That's what it means. And that means anything that is there for us, how do we respond to it? Do we allow ourselves the ability to step up to the plate and take action or do whatever it takes? So I feel that responsibility is huge in this way, because our dreams, our goals, are not going to come to us from somebody else. We're the engineers of our lives. We're the captains of our ship. We are the ones who have to go out and make our destiny be. Now, I do believe strongly that when we show up, when we say yes to opportunities, when we're making the most of our gifts and our talents, when we're being all we are and we're being authentic, all of that, putting it out there, shining our light, I do believe that amazing things come to us in our path and say, “Here is an opportunity. Here's another opportunity.” Great surprises will show up for us unexpected. And that's how it works. We put ourselves out there and then we are met with that same better energy. So when we have the responsibility to show up for us, we make a really beautiful life for ourselves. We also open doors we can't even conceive of before we start the journey. And the other piece that I feel is so important, we may not hear from other people but they know. They're watching. They see what's going on. And when we step out, we write that book. When we say, “I'm going to become a bestseller,” when we say, “I'm going to create this show,” when we say, “I'm going to take this trip,” or, “I'm going to learn this hobby,” or, “I'm going to get healthier. I'm going to change my life. I'm going to move,” whatever it is, and we do it and we do it successfully no matter what, we impact so many people who are then inspired. If she did it, it he did it, I could, too.

David Laroche : It's possible for me, too.

Debbie Dachinger : Yes. So my responsibility is really much greater than just to myself. It is how am I making a global impact?

David Laroche : I love this point.

Debbie Dachinger : And part of that responsibility, as well, is that if I was given gifts and talents, maybe there's a reason. If we each were given gifts and talents, maybe we are a piece of the puzzle of heaven on Earth. And if I hide my gift and talent and don't use it in this life, and don't have bravery or boldness about it, then who's ever going to receive the real gift I came here to be? So my responsibility is also to not hide that, but instead to come and be all of who I was built to be. There's a reason why I was put together like this, like how each of us were put together.

David Laroche : How can we find our gift? Because other people are wondering, “What is my gift? I don't have any gifts. I'm ugly. I'm poor. I never succeed at anything. What is my gift? You have gift, but not me.”

Debbie Dachinger : Wow. Well, not true first of all. It's so easy to see the beauty in somebody else, isn't it?

David Laroche : Yeah.

Debbie Dachinger : And if somebody cannot see that in themselves, then this is what I suggest. First of all, let's be honest. There's going to be a lot of people who you and I may touch right now or connect with who do really know their gifts. They do get that they're an artist or an architect or they love to plant or they love animals or they love the ocean or whatever that is. So they already have a sense of that. For those who don't, you have the most exciting journey ahead because my experience is that you just follow energy. And I'll tell you what I mean by that. Something can present itself to you. Secret: you don't need to know all the pieces to have something work out. You just need to know the next right thing. You can find out through meditation, just go into a meditative state and ask questions. Or you can just be in your life and have a sense. It can be as small as, “I want to take a dance class.” It can be, “I've always wanted to align myself with this kind of horticulture,” or, “I want to work for a hotel chain.” Just trust that. Let that be enough and go do that. You don't need to know the entirety of your gifts or talents. And see how that experience is for you. And once you experience that, something else may reveal. Now, you may find this is it. I love this. I'm passionate. I want to stay here. Or something else may reveal itself to you that feels quite different. Then follow that. Trust that journey. I will tell you that in my life, I did not go from here to here at all, in one straight line. I was not like the skier at the top of the mountain and I just went straight down. Mine was very much like switchbacks and unexpected. And it's been an amazing journey, unexpected, amazing journey. When I started out, I was an actress and a singer and that's all I ever wanted to do. And because of some things that happened in my life, there were other choices that got made. And so for a period of time I made and sold jewelry. And I was very successful in upscale stores. And then I always wanted to know, what is it like to be a motivational speaker? And what I understood was I can't think about something and understand the finished product. I can't think about being in any career and really know what it's going to be like because all sorts of filters will come in. The fear filter will say, “Don't do that. This terrible thing will happen. You'll never make money as a speaker. No one will like you.” Or my grandiose may come in and say, “You'll be bigger than the biggest motivational speaker.” A million filters will come in, but none of them are real. The only way for me to experience is to experience it, is to go do it. Just go do it. So I wanted to be a motivational speaker. I wrote a workshop and I went out and I did it. And while I was doing that, I got a call. Like I said, opportunities present. And I got a call to do voiceover work. So I did cartoon work. And it was magnificent for me. And I pursued voiceovers for a bit. And then I got into radio and I was doing radio. And I really, at first, didn't understand what that was for me. And then it became abundantly clear, dare to dream. I'm going to teach people to make dreams come true. I'm going to have super successful people. And that went for a spell, and still is going. And then the book came up and I thought, “I'm going to pursue this.” So you see, it's been a life of this. And I have not arrived. My train has not stopped. It's still going and I don't know where and what other adventures I'll have. But that's a magnificent way to live life, too. And I would suggest, for anybody who feels, “I'm not entirely clear what the gift or talent is,” just know you can do that and have an amazing life as well.

David Laroche : Great.

Debbie Dachinger : Yeah, and you'll discover a lot about yourself along the way.

David Laroche : Great. I love that. Do you have some life lessons you would like to share to youth? I mean maybe 18 years old.

Debbie Dachinger : Wow.

David Laroche : Do you have children?

Debbie Dachinger : I don't, no.

David Laroche : Okay, so imagine maybe children around you, [inaudible]. And if you have to speak with them, and if you have two minutes with them, what message you would like to give them?

Debbie Dachinger : Don't just dare to dream. Dare to make your dreams your reality. Dreams are free so free your dreams. Make your mess your message. I would tell them that they can do and be whatever they want. I would ask them to look at everybody else in the room and understand, and on the planet, that we have much more in common than not. And the importance of us supporting each other, caring for each other, being of service to each other as opposed to judging and criticizing, the importance of them owning that whatever they came with inside, how perfect and beautiful that is and to really embody that. Like be who you are, as beautiful, as awkward, as smart, as quirky, as talented, as silly, all of that. It's enough that it's enough. And that they can start wherever they are, exactly where they are. And anyone can make a dream come true, anyone. And I firmly believe that making dreams come true, making goals manifest, creating these desires into realities, I really believe that if we focused on that, this planet would be a much happier place and we would all be functioning as contributions to ourselves, to our friends, to our families, and to the planet as a whole.

David Laroche : That's great. It's great. So your book is “Dare to Dream.” So how can we dare to dream big?

Debbie Dachinger : Well, the full title of the book is “Dare to Dream: This Life Counts.” And I purposely titled it like that because life is quite fast. It really is. It's amazing, when we think back where you were a year ago, five years ago and how quickly it goes. And so what I mean is tick, tick, tick. You know? It's important to align yourself with what's going on inside. There are a lot of workshops out there you can do. There are a lot of books you can buy. And there are positive radio shows you can listen to. So the first tip, I would say, is align yourself with everything that's positive. But I don't just mean it makes you feel good. I mean that really brings up the best in your, that gives you ideas and thoughts that you hadn't thought before. The second tip, I would say, is that it's very popular right now to talk about the Law of Attraction, yes?

David Laroche : Yes.

Debbie Dachinger : So I have this desire. And the idea is that this will be mirrored on the outside and attract it back to me. Now, energetically, that is correct. That's what happens. But, the last six letters of the word attraction is action. The Law of Attraction. So if action is in that word, what that means, if I want to attract to me my dream, I must take action. I must absolutely take action to make it happen. And, I must, in a way, surrender. I'm a firm believer in taking action and letting go, taking action and letting go. Because at some point in every day, in every life, there is a lot we can do and show up for but there's also a lot we can let in and receive.

David Laroche : Great.

Debbie Dachinger : There's a tremendous amount of care for us on a lot of levels. And it is really advisable to stop and breathe and be as well as take action. It's a yin and a yang, making your dream come true. So also, allow, receive, let in.

David Laroche : Cool. What would be the most important things we have to do to be excellent in radio?

Debbie Dachinger : Yes, well first of all, you have to do your homework. What I would suggest is that if you have not done radio and you would like to, write up 5 to 10 questions. What is your expertise? You must figure that out first. So I'm not as goal achievement expert from that standpoint. What are 5 to 10 questions I might have somebody ask that I would like to answer and that I can really help people with? The next thing is, I would sit with some friends. I'd make appointments with friends or family and just say, “Can you interview me? Can we just do a mock interview?” Bring a tape recorder and sit there and do the five questions back and forth. Thank them and then listen to yourself. What do you like about this person? What don't you like? The next advice I would give is listen to radio. Start tuning in. What do you love about guests? What don't you love so much about guests and why? Because that will inform you. The third thing I might say is if you have tics. Tics meaning um, ah, you know, like, these patterns that come up over and over. Or sometimes a tic can be… I actually coached somebody who used to laugh inappropriately. She would get very nervous in her interviews and she would start to laugh at times when it really didn't work for her. And so there are things that come up for people. And you want to learn how to calm that inside of you. And then you must have your website set up in such a way so that you have a press and media site. You have your photos there. You have your questions. You have a press that's been done about you, a wonderful bio, things like this. And to be honest, there's a tremendous amount more and that's just for a beginner. Somebody who's more advanced, I would say you must freshen up. I'm interviewed all the time. I always have to freshen up, because you constantly are being asked the same questions so maybe you want new questions introduced. Maybe you've changed, we're talking about change. And that always happens. That happens here all the time so you've changed so you want to offer something new to the next audience. So that's how to be excellent at radio. And then there's a whole way about how to align yourself with hosts, how to get on radio shows, how to know what radio shows are right for you, and how to treat the production team. You want to be very good to them.

David Laroche : Yeah, I think self-confidence is one of the first step we have to develop to take actions. Do you have advice to build and to grow, to become confident in this life?

Debbie Dachinger : Sometimes I really believe we just have to do things. For some people, confidence just is. Some people are just born or come from a family that taught. Some people not. And I just don't believe we're defined by anything outside of us, that we define ourselves. Sometimes we have to go out and just experience things to understand. It's like the first time you get on stage, whether you're going to sing or speak, or you don't know how it's going to turn out. You know how you want it to turn out. You know how you prepared for it to turn out, but it's a big unknown. And I really think once you go do it, in spite of maybe not having tons of confidence, then…

David Laroche : Do it.

Debbie Dachinger : …you realize. Yes. Wow.

David Laroche : I'm doing it.

Debbie Dachinger : I'm doing it. It's working out. Maybe it's amazing. Or maybe it's okay and could use improvement. But what do you do with that? So you show up and you learn how to make those improvements and you go out and you do it again. And then you see yourself operating at a much higher level, bigger arena. Okay, this was good but now this needs to be improved. How can I improve that? Figure that out, make those improvements, go back again. I think confidence really means I have my back. I've got this. I don't know how this is going to turn out. I don't need to know how it's going to turn out. It's like jumping out of an airplane, right? Every time you go to do a dream, you really don't know, when you pull on that, if something's going to show up. But you have to know that you're going to show up, that you're there for you, and that if you don't have all the pieces you'll go out and learn whatever pieces you need and make the difference, make the adjustments. And I really believe that's how confidence is born. You can have that je ne sais quoi or you can acquire it as we go along. But just to trust that we can do things, we can learn things, we can always become better and believe in ourselves more.

David Laroche : Yeah, that's great. I would like to know more about your [inaudible]. Did you have some struggles in this life? I'm sure you have, but can you tell me one of those struggle and how did you overcame it?

Debbie Dachinger : Yes, a pivotal moment for me in my life was when I left a relationship. And I moved into my own apartment. And when I moved in, I realized I have not fulfilled dreams. I just realized how many dreams I had inside of me that I pushed aside and I couldn't…somehow, in my mind, I thought, “I'm not going to do this because I'm in this relationship.” And it's such a strange thing, because this man that I was with never asked me to put my dreams on hold. He never told me not to fulfill my own dreams. Somehow I made that decision and it made sense at the time. But when I got out, I realized how awful that was and how much was bubbling up inside of me. And I sat down and I wrote down all the things I yearned to do and experience. And I decided this is what my next year is going to be, one at a time. I'm going to do all. And they were all over the map, all different things I just felt like, “I want to try this. I want to try that. I want to know what that's like. I want to feel this. I want to accomplish that.” I would say, and there were a couple of big ticket items, but I would say the biggest one on that at the time was a marathon, 26.2 miles. I wanted to do a marathon. And I was not a runner. It was a big. And I didn't know how I was going to get from the leap in my brain or the desire here to actually making that happen. And it was a struggle. Frankly, the biggest struggle was inside of me because as much as I wanted it, I also resisted it. I desired it but I was so sure it was impossible. I took the steps and I called the Los Angeles Marathon Office. I had no idea how much was in place for people like me. And they said, “This is where you can go and train and this is how you can make this happen.” And so basically, for eight months I showed up several times a week and I trained. In between, they gave me a training schedule. They generally told me what to eat. I got brand new shoes, running shoes. And I did everything. And something I did well in life was I was teachable. I didn't have all the answers. I didn't have any answers except for a desire, but I knew people out there knew better than I and I let them teach me. And I followed whatever they explained to me. And that caused a great success. So come the day, eight months later, I went through the finish line. It was amazing because I realized, “If I could do this, I can so do anything.” And the next year, I decided to do it again. Except this year I wanted a different goal. I didn't want to just finish in the marathon because I knew what that was like. So I wanted to do a marathon, but in a shorter amount of time. So I took what was actually a very big goal and I decided I was going to take 30 minutes off of my finish time, which for 26.2 miles is a very big dream. And I trained very well, again, for eight months. And then every night for two weeks before the marathon, I would visualize myself, the last mile, and I would visualize myself going through the finish line and seeing the clock, and seeing the time, and finishing.

David Laroche : Yes.

Debbie Dachinger : Yes.

David Laroche : It's done.

Debbie Dachinger : Yes. And of course, I would feel the joy and everything in my visualization. Well, come the day of the second year of my marathon everything was going very well. Eighteen miles, 19 miles, 20 miles, and all of a sudden I realize, “I feel good. I feel fast. In fact, I think I'm so fast that I don't think anybody's going to know, none of my friends are going to know to be here because I didn't tell anyone my goal. I kept it to myself.” So now, I'm in mile 21, 22, 23, 24, and I'm feeling strong. And I'm coming up the final mile thinking, “Oh, I think I'm going to do good. I don't know if I'm going to make the time I wanted but I don't think anyone's going to be here to see this amazing moment.” And I came around the final bend before the finish line and I heard someone screaming my name. And there was my mom and she knew somehow. She just knew. That was so important that somebody would miss that moment. And as I went through the finish line, just like my visualization, I was strong, I looked up, I saw the clock.

David Laroche : Wow.

Debbie Dachinger : I went through the finish line and I just started crying. And the helpers come.

David Laroche : And you feel that presence.

Debbie Dachinger : Yes, it was so momentous. They took the chip off of my shoe and they were concerned that I was hurt. “Are you okay?” Because I'm crying. And I said, “No, no. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.” Because when I looked up at the time, I cut one full hour off. Not 30 minutes, 60 minutes off of my finish time.

David Laroche : It's a good achievement.

Debbie Dachinger : That's taking action and letting go. That's allowing sometimes, magic and miracles to happen. And that is a moment that, for the rest of one's life, I can always reflect on and say, “If anything makes me feel or if I ever doubt what is really possible, come on.” You know?

Debbie Dachinger : I did that, so I can do a lot of things.

David Laroche : Yeah, because that is a physical, mental, emotional challenge. And then to even better that challenge. Yes.

Debbie Dachinger : Great. I also think very important to ask you, what do you do when you have bad mood? For example, you are in lower energy, what do you do to switch and to get back your energy?

David Laroche : Here is the truth. I don't believe I'm alone. That's really my truth. When you say bad mood, good mood, I think sometimes my bad mood is much more about what's outside of me. Sometimes it's about the fact that I work very hard and I feel like I want things now, now, now. I'm very impatient. I really do want things now, now, now. And for me to have patience and trust the universe's timing as opposed to my own can sometimes be difficult. And what I do is I remember I'm not alone. Whether you want to call that God, I do. Whether you want to call that all that it is, source, higher self. But all of that, that I'm loved. I'm really loved. And I think it's very important to have gratitude, a fullness of thanks, a thankfulness, to remember, just come back to the moment and say, “In this moment, what I have right now, what is mine inside and outside right now, the people in my life, the way that clerk smiled at me, that person who gave me their parking space, the fact that I have a roof over my head, that I'm breathing, that I was given this day, this moment, that I get to share it with you.” To just have gratitude, and even gratitude to look back and say, “Wow, look what has happened. All the things I've already achieved or brought or thought.” To acknowledge that as opposed to always being in the future. And appreciation. It's very helpful for me to get outside of myself and notice there's a whole world going on outside of me and to reconnect with that: nature, children, animals, people, moments, breath, sky, trees. To just be, be still. And sometimes, when we're still, we know. Just to be still and know that we're not alone and we're loved beyond measure.

David Laroche : Wow. Yeah, it's a great key. I love that. I have short question for you, short answer. What is your favorite book?

Debbie Dachinger : John Irving's book called “Owen Meany”.

David Laroche : Okay. Is that…

Debbie Dachinger : A Prayer for Owen Meany”.

David Laroche : Wow. What is your favorite quote?

Debbie Dachinger : I guess I would say my own right now is something I like to offer to people, which is “make your mess your message.” Whatever you think is not your gift, your wound, whatever your issue is, turn it into what your gift is to the world. Work on it. Put it out there. Because usually, in our biggest mess is our greatest gift to offer to others.

David Laroche : Great. What is your favorite commitment to yourself, to success in life?

Debbie Dachinger : I am fully committed to loving myself and taking care of myself.

David Laroche : Great. I love that. So, only to you, how to become happy in this life. You have some keys, some advices. You know I will try everything you will explain me, because it's very important for me to help people to become a loser.

Debbie Dachinger : Excellent. So the first thing to recognize is that everywhere you go, you have a big L on top of your head and everybody can see it and it says loser. So in order to be the greatest loser, what you want to do is any time you have these feelings like, “Ugh, I can't do anything. I'll never succeed. I'll never be good. No one likes me. I'm fat. I'm ugly,” believe it. Absolutely believe it, yes? So dress like that. Dress like you're a nothing. If you go to a party, don't engage with anybody, just stay in the background. Don't really talk. And, if you have dreams, definitely don't do anything about them.

David Laroche : No actions.

Debbie Dachinger : Nothing.

David Laroche : A little action?

Debbie Dachinger : Well, maybe you could sit on a sofa and watch TV a lot and eat. Definitely enjoy eating and enjoy, maybe, what you see on television. But don't go out and live your life at all. And if you have thoughts that say things like, “Oh my God, don't do that because you're afraid. Don't do that because you'll never succeed,” be thankful. You've just been spared. Now you don't have to go out and experience any of that, right? You already know. You know how it's going to end. So don't do it. Don't bother.

David Laroche : That's great.

Debbie Dachinger : I would say listen to all the worst thoughts in your head. Absolutely pay attention to them.

David Laroche : When I am bad mood with the bad thinking, I have to listen to, yes?

Debbie Dachinger : Yes. If you're in a bad mood, make sure to break off every relationship in your life, right? Don't trust anybody who tries to make you feel better. Make sure you let them know, “I'm in a bad mood and I'm going to stay here no matter what. And if you show up to try and make me feel better, you're out of my life.” That's right. And if somebody offers you anything nice, definitely don't accept it. Don't accept any kindness. Don't accept any handouts. If anybody tries to help you or teach you, oh, don't be teachable. Don't let anybody show you a different way to do anything.

David Laroche : No, I know everything.

Debbie Dachinger : And if there's workshops out there, there are great books, workshops, do not go to them. What a waste of time. What a waste of energy and money. Just sit home and watch that TV and eat.

David Laroche : Wow. That's wonderful. I will try everything you are explaining to me. Yeah, it's amazing.

Debbie Dachinger : Yeah, because you know, we don't know yet who the biggest loser is on the planet. And if you really work hard at it, it could be you.

David Laroche : Yeah, I will love.

Debbie Dachinger : The greatest loser we've ever known.

David Laroche : Yeah, it's hard. It's a lot of work.

Debbie Dachinger : Yeah.

David Laroche : To be depressive every day. It's not so easy.

Debbie Dachinger : No, no it's not. That's very true. It's a great deal of work to be super negative, to find everything wrong with life and with yourself.

David Laroche : Because there is a lot of things positive and it's hard to stay in the state where I am bad.

Debbie Dachinger : Yeah, you don't want to see anything good. Not in yourself and not in anybody else.

David Laroche : Definitely

Debbie Dachinger : Yeah, because that's what life's about is really how unhappy could you be? How much of a loser could you really be? It's the greatest. Something to aspire to.

David Laroche : I appreciate a lot your answers, so thank you very much. I will try everything.

Debbie Dachinger : Yeah, let me know how that works out for you.

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