How to have a bliss by getting out of our own way ? – David Corbin
David Laroche: So, hello, Achievers! Today I am with a new awesome guest. He’s David Corbin — I love his name — and he is a “Mentor to Mentors”, inventor, author, best speaker and a consultant also. You will discover him. He is awesome; he is funny and we will also talk about negative thinking. It’s new. You will discover the power of negative thinking. Hello, David!
David Corbin: Hello, hello, hello!
David Laroche: I love your name!
David Corbin: Yes, I know that. You know what? I don’t go anywhere without it; I can take it wherever I go. David. Davide.
David Laroche: Davido.
David Corbin: How do you say David in French?
David Laroche: David [French accent].
David Corbin: David. Yes? No?
David Laroche: Yes.
David Corbin: Okay, I like it.
David Laroche: I would like two things—I would like to let you introduce yourself and then I would love to know more about your story and, especially, your struggles, and, especially, how you overcame them.
David Corbin: Well, by way of introduction, my name is David, but you already know that, yes? You know, I’m a human being and that’s my first and foremost. I’m a father; I’m a person. And as a person I got struggles; I got issues; I got challenges and some of them really sucked; they really sucked. I mean, they really sucked as I was growing up. Did I overcome them? Yes.
So, I’m a business guy and I’m a speaker, and I’m an author, and some of the people that you’ve interviewed, I’ve mentored. Somehow I not only came through these life experiences, but I came through on the other side that I could help pull other people with me. So, I learned some lessons. And you talk about struggles—I had so many struggles as a kid that I found myself studying to become and I became and practiced for four years as a psychotherapist to understand human behavior. Now, we joke and say, “I’m no longer a psychotherapist; I’m just a psycho. I dropped the ‘therapist’ part.” But you never really drop the “therapist” and I hope I always stay a psycho, because the psycho is someone who looks at the world differently and I love looking at the world differently. I’ve heard it’s said that we should never be conformed to this world, but rather be transformed by the renewal of your mind. And I learned from one of my latest coaches, my life coach, who you’re going to be interviewing — her name is Sandrine, also French — that we should not only renew the mind, but renew the shape and the access of the heart, and that’s a tremendous and a profound lesson. So, from Psychotherapy and understanding Psychology and human behavior, I applied that to business, because I found most of business involves people and people carry “crap” with them. I don’t want to point to myself when I say “crap”. They carry “crap” with them, bad stuff. And my job in business is to help to hold the mirror up, help them see what some of their issues are, individually and as a business, and work to resolve them. So, I’ve been doing that for a long time.
So, by way of introduction, I’m a businessman; I’m a human being; I’m a guy who loves to laugh; I’m a guy who makes a lot of mistakes and loves to learn from them; who’s earned a lot of money by inventing products and services, and selling those business, and laughing, and having fun. So, a term that I thought about this morning was “blissful commitment… blissful commitment.” I am committed to my bliss and having fun, and helping expose to people how they can have their bliss by getting out of their own way. So, there is some introduction.
David Laroche: Great. And can you share with me one of your struggles you overcame; maybe the struggle that you are the most proud of.
David Corbin: Wow!
David Laroche: Not the struggle, but how you overcame it.
David Corbin: There are a million of them. I just…
David Laroche: At the beginning of your business.
David Corbin: Okay. So, in the beginning of my life and then my business… So, in the beginning of the life was self-worth — you and I had a conversation earlier about self-confidence and self-esteem — and I began early on in my life thinking that everybody was better than me. Actually I didn’t think that; I knew that. I knew somehow everybody was better than me. They were smarter, brighter, faster, better looking; they had more stuff than me. I just was caved in, and that’s not a nice feeling. There are people who are listening to this and watching this, and they can relate to that. In fact, a lot of us can relate to that. It was Thoreau, I believe, who said that “man/woman lead lives of quite desperation.” So, I grew up early that way. My dad didn’t talk to me till I was about 13 years old. I couldn’t understand why he was nice, and kind, and loving and friendly to everyone else including kids, but not me. So, I concluded I just wasn’t good enough. So, I needed to somehow work hard to try to get his approval and other people’s approval. Now, that’s a blessing because I really studied and learned how to influence and impact people for the wrong reason, but I really learned how to influence.
David Laroche: Like I did.
David Corbin: Yes, and I really reached for that and that’s a great skill. So, that was quite painful. How did I overcome that? Well, I reached out. I reached out and I had some people that were kind enough to lend a hand and to remind me of my greatness. And I had to really say, “Is that true? Is that possible? Could I really… No, I’m not good enough.” So, having people come into my life as mentors and now look, so many years later I’m a mentor.
David Laroche: It’s great.
David Corbin: And I’m a “mentor to mentors.” So, I believe that I attracted into my life and chose my father. I chose my father, at a metaphysical level, to behave in that way so I could develop these skills, overcome my issues and help others overcome theirs. And that’s been a main purpose of my life.
David Laroche: Great. I have a question for you about speaking and business also. According to you, what is and what are the differences between a top speaker and the others?
David Corbin: Oh, it’s very simple; it’s very simple. I don’t know if I could use dirty words, but a friend of mine taught me a term called “shit-cakes.” A “shit-cake” is someone who professes to be caring, wise and loving, and they’re not. In the States here we call “a lion in lamb’s clothing”. So, the difference between speakers; what makes some greater — I think that was the question — is their heart; is their intention; is their purpose; is their mission. There are many speakers, people who you’ll meet, and their mission is to sell books, sell tapes and get a bunch of people to sit in the room and pay money. That’s their mission. That’s not a great speaker. A great speaker has the skills and the heart, and the intention. That’s a great speaker.
David Laroche: Great. So, how can we open the heart, because I think that… I believe that a lot of people have a heart, but how to connect it or maybe how to learn how to connect it?
David Corbin: Yes, yes. I know you have a technical background and you studied technology, and you love technology. And as you know with our computers we can do a “gross” networking and we can do a “peer-to-peer” networking. So, what I like to do is a “peer-to-peer” networking with an individual, at the limbic system, which is the reptilian brain, but most importantly, at the heart level, because behind that microphone there is a big circle, a big vortex and that vortex is your heart; it’s your essence; it’s a chakra of love. I have the same one and anybody that you ever meet, oddly enough, they went shopping at the same place and they have one also. And when you connect to that “peer-to-peer” networking—wow, it’s amazing! You then begin to care about that individual as you care about yourself, and you connect, and together, the energy, the possibilities are phenomenal. So, I like to see the energy going back and forth to the different people and feel that connection. It’s freaking awesome. And when you do that with an audience, at first you can only do that with the people in the first row. Then you play a game and you do that with somebody who’s way in the back and you put the energy back and forth. All of a sudden you start connecting and a weird thing is—they start connecting. And when you do exercises with them and you create that energy, magic seems to happen. So, the difference between a good speaker and a great speaker is not their speech, but the reaction that they get.
David Laroche: Great. I love that. You have a book and I would like to show it. Yes, you can see. Great. We were talking just before the interview about the power of negative thinking and I would love to know your point of view about that and how we can learn to change our perception.
David Corbin: It’s really… it’s a trip. It’s funny—I was driving down the same road today that I was driving down a few years ago, and my assistant called me up and said, “There’s an executive from Europe on the phone and he wants to talk with you and he asked if I would patch you through.” And I said, “Sure, put him through.” So, I had this executive on the phone, and he said, “I just read the new ‘Think and Grow Rich’ book and you’re in that book!” I said, “Yes, I know that.” He said, “Well, I’m a big fan of Napoleon Hill and ‘Think and Grow Rich’. It’s changed my life.” I said, “Great, as it has mine and so many millions of people.” And I’m wondering why he is calling me. He said, “But when I read the new ‘Think and Grow Rich’ book that you’re in, you’re the only one who talks about the positive power of negative thinking.” And he got it. And I said, “Well, let’s not go too far with that. What does that mean to you?” He said, “Exactly what you taught. You taught that nowhere in the positive mental attitude literature does it say we should ignore negative issues.” And I said, “You got it.”
So, we want to illuminate the negative issues we have in a positive light and see what are the issues that are causing these things, and how can I learn and grow from it. So, the point of that book is, David, simply that we cannot solve every problem that we face, but we can’t solve any of them unless we face them; unless we point our nose right at them and say, “What is that problem and what is that issue?” instead of running away from it or going, “Well, I’m into the positive attitude. I’m going to ignore that. I’m just going to focus on the positive attitude.” Well, I got to tell you if, God forbid, this little dot here is a cancer or a melanoma, “I think what I’ll do is I’ll be positive and I’ll cover it up with the bandage, and I’ll just focus on the rest of my magnificent skin.” But that could kill you. So, I say take the bandage off, take a look at what some issues are, some things that might be holding us back which could be as simple or as complex as self-esteem, confidence. Whatever it is, look at it, face it, then follow it and fix it. That’s the essence of that book.
David Laroche: Great. When you have a bad feeling how do you transform that in something very good? How do you throw light on something we are not so illuminated?
David Corbin: I’ll tell how most people do it, David. Most people when they have an issue and they’re feeling like something’s bothering them, they’re just going to change their mind, shift their state. You studied “NLP” as did I. Boom! Do a big switch pattern and change your state of mind. And that works, and I’ll do that from times to time. Or do a positive affirmation—you’re feeling really lousy; you say, “I feel terrific. I feel terrific. I feel terrific!” And then you program your unconscious mind and “surprise, surprise” you feel terrific! That works. There is another way of doing it and this is — take out your pens and papers here because this is a keeper here; this is a life-changer — get to the root cause. Instead of just shifting your state and saying “I’m going to suppress that and I’m going to shift my attention; every once in a while, instead of running away from that problem and covering it up, go into the storm and say, “What’s causing that? What’s the issue?” So, for example—I just don’t feel good today. I want to stay in. I want to cancel my meetings. I don’t feel good. So, I say, “No, no. I’m going to do positive affirmations, ‘I feel terrific. I feel terrific. I feel terrific!’” And you feel terrific—you do your meetings. But it comes back and you know why? Because that issue, that challenge loves you, and there’s a lesson in there. And when we keep taking it and hiding it, we don’t get the lesson. So, the “illuminate model”… the first step is—Face it: “What could that be? What could the issue be? What could the challenge be?” And you go inside and say, “Well, I think it’s because I’m doing some work that I don’t agree with. I’m helping somebody in business and I don’t really agree with their business philosophy. I feel like I’m propagating “bullshit.” I don’t feel good about that. “Well, I’m going to cover that up!” No, get into it and go, “So, now I think I’m going to choose clients that I believe in. So, I’m going to help this client, absolutely! But in the future I’m going to choose clients that I feel really good and confident that I’m propagating a good mission.” You know, if I had just been on affirmations, I wouldn’t have gotten that lesson. This “illuminate” thing works. I’m going to illuminate; I’m going to face it. “I’m not feeling good.” Follow it—“I’m not feeling good because I’m doing something that’s not integrity with me.” Fix it—“I’ll work with this person, but from now on I’m only going to choose clients that I believe in their message.” That’s illuminating the negative. That’s taking it out from the darkness and putting it in the light. You see, David, these negative issues that are calling for our attention, when you keep them in the dark, they multiply and grow like mushrooms. They multiply. But when you put them in the light of day, sometimes they just disappear like a vampire would in the light of day. They say that daylight is God’s greatest disinfectant. So, face it; follow it; fix it and lead a life that you’re not going to constantly be plagued by these issues; you’ll have cleared them. Make way to take the next lesson. That’s my story.
David Laroche: Yes, it’s great! When I have this kind of feeling do I have to question myself; to ask something? Okay, I have a bad feeling and I focus on “okay, I accept that; why am I feeling this kind of emotion and how can I…” — Do you have a process to get the information to go to the root?
David Corbin: Yes, yes. It’s a very old process. It’s been going on since the recorded history of the mankind. They used to call it prayer; today we call it prayer or meditation. But I say take at least 22 minutes a day to go inside and meditate, and really, really allow yourself to catch up… your soul to catch up. Then, when you have a negative situation that’s going on, you know because you’ve tapped into your power that you have the power to solve and fix anything. So, when a problem comes up — If I have a problem that I’m hit with or even if a client has a problem, I could say to them or I could say to myself, “I don’t know how am I going to fix this, but I know this—I’m going to fix this. I can resolve this. I have the confidence to deal with anything in my life.” So, let’s say for example — I think you’re asking me… you’re saying, “David, when something happens and somebody… they just hit a wall; they’re in a problem, what process might they use in addition to facing the negative issues behind it?” Well, when you build yourself, when you build your confidence “muscle”, like you’re building a muscle, you’re immediately going to go, “Wow, this is great! This is great! I just found another area of opportunity for me to grow!” So, you shift it. You understand? You’re changing the base. You’re changing — in some cases you’ll change your frustration into fascination. In this case, instead of running away “Oh, my God, I’ve got a problem!” you’re going, “This is awesome! I’ve got an opportunity.” So, that mentality and that mindset changes everything. It’s not a technique — because some people look for techniques — I’m sorry, it’s not a technique; it’s a way of being. It’s a synthesized form of confidence that when something happens I know I can deal with; I can fix it. The initial technique — if you’re just starting out — is “Face it, Follow it and Fix it.” Ask yourself what’s causing this problem—“If I don’t solve it, where is it going to take me?” And then when you do that, it’s amazing how your confidence goes up. You know about certain laws. I think in France they also have this thing that we have here in the States called the “law of gravity.” Do you have that in France? Do you have that?
David Laroche: Yes, we have also.
David Corbin: Did you just get it or you had before?
David Laroche: Not everywhere.
David Corbin: Oh, is it everywhere? Fantastic! There is another immutable law that’s everywhere, and it’s called the “law of control.” And the law of control, which works everywhere — whether you believe in it or not, it works everywhere. See, if you don’t believe in gravity, it doesn’t give a shit. You walk off of any building anywhere and you’re going down, even in France.
David Laroche: Not everywhere.
David Corbin: Not everywhere? Okay. Well, in many places that I’ve been to. And believe me, I’ve tried it; I’ve learned the hard way. But there’s another law and it doesn’t care if you believe in it or not. It’s called the “law of control” and it says, “Our self-confidence and our self-esteem are directly connected to our being in control of our life and our destiny.” As we start doing some of these things, taking control and having the character and the courage and the discipline to illuminate the negative in a positive light, our self-esteem starts growing up; we start building it up. That’s why it’s not a technique so much as a mindset. All of a sudden, we start feeling good. A problem goes, we solve it and we feel tremendous. That’s the law of control. So, anything that you do, like waking up in the morning and having a morning ritual—that’s the law of control, because you’re doing something you’re controlling your life. Many of us work off of lists, right? And we check it off. How does it feel when you check it off? It feels good.
David Laroche: Yes.
David Corbin: That’s the law of control. Some of us will do something—it’s not on the list. We put it on the list just so we could check it off. That’s the law of control and that creates a mindset of confidence and competence.
David Laroche: Yes, great. I have another question; it is more global. According to you, how to unleash our potential?
David Corbin: Well, I’m learning in my old age. I turned 60 this year. I’m learning that being in control of my body and my life is critically important. I cannot unleash power if it’s being used unnecessarily. You’re a technology guy; you know that we can sometimes have an energy leak, when we’re shunting energy. It’s a simple — those of us who live in houses and have electricity we might leave electricity on, and we don’t even know it’s on and it’s shunting the energy. Or we may have a leak in our pipe and we’re loosing water. It’s a waste of that. I was wasting energy—psychic energy—by caring too much weight; by having my body working too hard to cleanse itself of toxins. You want to unleash the power within? Allow for that power to happen and eliminate… illuminate and then eliminate areas that you’re wasting your energy.
I was caring around in each hand a 15-pound weight. I was walking around with 30 pounds of weight. My body had to work really hard. My body didn’t want to work that hard, but I wasn’t giving it a choice. I was smoking cigars, one a day almost, and I was creating toxins in my body. I was drinking wine — nothing wrong with drinking wine — but I was drinking a lot of wine. I wasn’t a “wine no”, but every night at dinner I would have three-four glasses of wine. Somebody reminded me, “You know four glasses of wine—that’s a bottle.” “Oh, what’s wrong with that? I feel fine.” All the sugar you’re putting in your system… Ah, so you want to unleash the power… unleash the power. First, unleash the constraints of that power. You’ve got plenty of power. The greatest architect in the world who designed your body gave you plenty of power. We just keep putting toxins and unnecessary strains on it.
David Laroche: What do you think about sugar? Because in the USA it’s amazing—everywhere you find sugar.
David Corbin: Yes.
David Laroche: More than all the countries I discovered.
David Corbin: Yes, yes. So, the message I’m trying to give to people who listen to this is—number one—take responsibility for your life. Number two—don’t just look at the positive things, but also have the character and courage to look at some of the negative things. Number three—study and learn. Learn as much as you can; learn about nutrition; learn about sleep; learn about as many things as you can in life. And one of the things to learn is about health, certainly, about health. How could you unleash the power within when you’re making the leash tidier and tidier, and tidier? How could you do that?
One of the greatest myths that I’ve ever heard is this “low-fat diet” and eating all these foods that are “low-fat.” Here in the States marketing is more important than integrity. Selling your product is more important than doing good. Selling your medicines; selling your low-fat foods and your fat-free foods it’s more important than health. You know, America — here in the States — we are the most obese society in the history of mankind, the most obese. We also have the most — if you look in our supermarkets — the most low-fat foods. Well, how could that be? How could we have low-fat foods and we have the fattest people. The fattest people who are obese, that are causing this nation to go into bankruptcy because of our healthcare, but we have no-fat foods. What they’re not telling you is they’re loading them up with tons of sugar—the “sugar” word you just mentioned. There is so much sugar in our foods… “Oh, they cut the fat out.” But what happens to the sugar? Boom! It turns into fat. They know that, but they don’t care; they just don’t care.
So, the message I’m sharing is—take responsibility for your own life. Don’t listen to what they’re telling you. Listen to the still voice within. Be smart; don’t listen to that propaganda. They’re doing that because they want to make money. They want to sell drugs; they want to sell — Take responsibility. Learn from people who know what they know and question their motives. Are they doing it because they want to make money or they’re doing because they want to make a difference? And by they way, you can make a ton of money by making a difference, but check their motivation out. So, sugar…
David Laroche: Did you eat some sugar today or not at all?
David Corbin: Well, any sugar that I’m going to eat I learned again — and you’re going to be interviewing Ishwari Jay. She’s the one who taught me most of what I’m talking about with regard to health, lifestyle shifts and well-being. To begin with—eat the right sugar, because my body can metabolize sugar, but it’s got to be the right sugar; it can’t be empty sugar. It’s got to be something like this coconut sugar and stuff — she’ll talk about that sort of stuff. Anybody who’s got the Internet can google the different types of sugar that’s available to you. But there is something called glycemic index, and like I use “Agave nectar”, but it should be not only organic “Agave nectar.” She teaches me in her wonderful French accent, “No, David, David, it must be raw.” It’s got to be raw. I have no need or pain—“I’ve got to have sugar. I’ve got to have something sweet.” It’s just like fat—I was like, “No, I can’t eat that avocado; it’s too fattening.” She said, “No, it’s good fat. Eat the good fat.”
So, leave a responsible life. Take responsibility. Take care of your health. Don’t be afraid to run away from negative issues. Learn from them. Face, follow and fix them. And one of the greatest things you could apply that whole model to is your health. It’s so simple; it’s silly.
David Laroche: Great. I love that. I pay a lot of attention to what I’m eating. I take no sugar—only fruits. It’s amazing to meet someone like you. It’s inspiring.
David Corbin: it’s amazing to learn. I say it’s amazing to meet someone like my mentor in that regard, and we keep learning and passing it on. Learn and pass it on. You interviewed a gentleman named Greg Reid.
David Laroche: Yes.
David Corbin: He’s an amazing thought-leader. I met him early on when he wanted to be in this industry. He was looking for a mentor and he selected me as a mentor. I don’t know why but he did. As a result, we became very close friends and I was the best man at his wedding and we had a deep connection. So, Greg is one who really believes in “passing it on.” In fact, he came up with an idea to make a movie called “Pass it On”, and that’s the movie. I was the host of that movie, hosting many other people that you’re interviewing from Brian Tracy and many other names that are in there. And we believe that societies and individuals will perish or flourish based upon their ability to pass on information from one generation to the next. And I think that’s what you’re doing. I mean, the reason that I’m here, working with you, is that I believe you’re committed to creating an environment that people can “pass it on”—pass on good information. That’s why I high-five you and go—David, I’m all in, man. You’re doing good stuff. You’re learning from what you needed to learn and you’re passing that on and you’re smart enough to say, “I have a message, but there are so many other people that have messages. What if I bring them together in one place, individually, put in on video, share with people, and pass it on?” This is good stuff, man. This is how we, as a family of human beings, are going to evolve. The tsunamic wave of evolution happens because of crazy people like you and me, and others who really want to propagate these messages.
David Laroche: Great. I love that. I would like to go back to public speaking because a lot of people said to me, “Oh, David… He’s funny on stage and everywhere.” Do you think every speaker has to learn how to become funny or not? What do you think about that?
David Corbin: Well, we’re all funny. We’re all funny. I mean, we were born; they pulled us out; we were naked; they smacked us; we cried and we made jokes inside they didn’t even know about. We were making fun of those morons. We always — Life is a cosmic joke. One of my gurus is this guy who just loves to laugh. Let me tell you something; I guarantee you. He puts me in situations; he’s laughing at me just freaking out and doing all this crazy stuff.
We have an intrinsic joy in life. Some of us are funnier than others. Some of us are funny that we don’t even know we’re funny. One of my friends — she’s hysterical; she doesn’t know she’s funny; she makes me laugh; she has her own cute, little ways, but she’s authentically funny and we all are. You said—should we be authentic or should we be funny? Uh-uh, it’s never the choice. You see, authenticity is indeed authenticity. Now, can you develop the skill? Absolutely! I could develop a skill right now. If you want me to tell you a half hour worth of jokes, link them with a thread and have you laughing, I can do that. That’s an acquired skill.
So, what I found is that people learn to the extent that they’re open. As stress intention goes down, openness and awareness goes up. So, the extent that you could have fun, people are going to take information in and learn. The study and the work of Dr. Robert Margrie, another learning theorist—such that humor chelates or helps humans assimilate information. See, you want to joke; you want to laugh. I opened up a speech the other day and I said, “Listen, thank you for that introduction. That was fabulous. But you left out one thing and that is this deal I just closed with HBO.” And the audience went, “Yayy!” I said, “Yeah, for $39 a month I could watch as many movies as I want to watch. That’s the deal I closed with HBO.” And they thought I had a special and they did that. And I talk about certain things which are maybe societally or culturally specific, but I’ll always get them laughing—“How many of you by a show of hands have either seen me before or else this is the first time?” And they kind of chuckle; it opens them up a little bit, because if I can’t get them engaged and to smile a little bit, I’m not going to be able to talk to them. So, when I get them in a situation where there is really serious point and they’re really thinking, then I’m going to tickle them and make them laugh, because I’ve got to take them on that roller-coaster.
So, as someone who’s trained speakers I know you need to take them on that, up and down, salty and sweet, funny and serious. That’s how people take information in and learn. That’s an acquired skill. That’s an acquired skill. I believe that humor is a part of that; you need to do that whether you like it or not. There are some people that look very serious and you need to train them to open up their face and smile. My daughter would sometimes say to me, “Daddy, what’s the problem?” And I go, “Honey, everything’s fine. I have no problem.” She goes, “Well, tell your face that.” Sometimes our face looks really stern because we will get really serious. But I think authenticity is a key, and when you are your authentic self, people will get that. Whether you’re authentically very funny or not, it doesn’t really make a difference. When you’re real, they’ll get it. One of the best speakers I heard in the last five years was a guy, who I shared time with, Don Miguel Ruiz (if you’ve read the “The Four Agreements” book)…
David Laroche: I would love to interview him also.
David Corbin: He is a wonderful guy and when he speaks, he speaks like this, “Blah blah blah blah… bablah bablah… bablah bablah.” Now, most people would go, “I’m changing the channel on that one. I’m not watching that.” But because his message is so real and heartfelt, you’re mesmerized; you’re hypnotized. He’s making a connection with you. And then there are others and they’re full of fun and life and energy, but there’s no message there. But they’re entertaining and they capture your attention like a car accident on the side of the road. It holds your attention, but it has no redeeming value. So, when I do speaker training I try to have them be their authentic self and to blend in some drama and theater, some humor and some serious throughout. But the real key is, even if you don’t do that, but you’ve got a compelling message that resonates with people, they’ll get it.
David Laroche: Yes. So, it’s the first step—have a great message.
David Corbin: Great message and absolute message that is not only important to you, but has importance to other people. That’s number one and number two is—ask yourself, “What are my core skills of communication?” Is it eye-hand coordination? Is it that you sit still but you talk with our face? Is it voice inflection? Is it something that you could make point so powerfully just by bringing your voice down? All those skills, the power of the pause… Do you… Do you pause? Those are techniques that you may do naturally. See what you do naturally. Take inventory of that. Then do those on purpose. And then if you want to integrate some other techniques that you might not do naturally, but you think might augment or help to build your message, start practicing those, and learn them, but don’t do everybody else’s stuff. Other people… I see them imitating other people — You’re going to be interviewing Brian Tracy. Brian and I were business partners for many years. I used to train people as consultants, when Brian and I were partners, and I would have them present information and they’re nice people; they’re authentic. As soon as the camera went on they turned into Brian or they turned into me; they started imitating us. And I think you got Tony coming in, right?
David Laroche: Tony…
David Corbin: Tony Robbins.
David Laroche: In July.
David Corbin: Okay. So, with Tony I was training his Vice President of Sales. He was a wonderful communicator. He’s from the Midwest; he’s just wonderful. When you talk with him you really get the essence of him. He wanted me to help him to be a better speaker. I put him on in front of the camera; I said, “Go.” All of a sudden he didn’t show up; Tony Robbins jumped right in front of him and he started imitating Tony. Afterwards he said, “What do you think?” I said, “I thought you were here. Where did you go?” He goes, “What do you mean?” I said, “No, I saw a Tony cloney. You tried to clone Tony Robbins. You weren’t yourself.” He goes, “Really?” I showed him the video and I showed him a video of him and I just talking, and I said, “They’re two different people.” And he went, “Wow!” I said, “Why don’t you be less of him and more of you? And once you’re more of you, you could start blending some of his skills in, but as a basis and a canvas of you, not you trying to become him, because even the worse you is better than the best imitation of somebody else.”
David Laroche: Yes, it’s great. I love that. Do you prepare your speech and how do you do that?
David Corbin: Oh, yes, I do prepare my speech. The speech that I’ll give tomorrow, I prepared years ago. I practiced, drilled and rehearsed it. I practiced the assemblage of words; I practiced the staging of where I’m going to stand and make points. Oh, yes. When I’m going to make a critical, powerful, life-changing point, I’m going to stand in that circle over there. I’m going to tell my story over there and then when I’m ready for that point, I’m going to work over to that circle over there and that’s where I’m going to deliver that powerful message. And then later on, whatever I’m doing, as soon as I step into that circle, they’re listening; they’re expecting some wisdom.
David Laroche: You do that every time? You choose…
David Corbin: Well, I planned that out long time ago. What I do now is execute that. See, when I plan it and I know what I’m going to do, when it comes to executing it on that day I have — just like I got rid of the weights and the toxins in my body — I got rid of everything I — I am free and clear to now personalize my message to that group. You see, I can use the energy of that room because I’m not thinking, “Well, how am I going to say this?” No, I already know what I’m going to say. I pretty much know what I’m going to do. I could now use my energy to tell or customize, focus on, serve… I could start looking at those vortexes of energy in the people because I don’t have to think about my speech. I can think about them.
David Laroche: Yes, but you are able to do that because you did a lot of speeches.
David Corbin: I practiced.
David Laroche: Yes.
David Corbin: You know, doing a lot of speeches — You can do a lot of speeches — and when people come to me and they say like — I met a fellow like you, who’s younger than my youngest child Benjamin — and they come and they go, “Man, I heard you’ve trained a lot of speakers and you’ve done a lot of this stuff. What information can you give me?” Most people would say, “You know, go out and do a whole bunch of speeches.” What I say is—you don’t have to go out to do a lot of speeches. You can do it while you’re driving your car; you could do it during or after your meditation. See the speech; see yourself doing it; practice it; drill it; put yourself on video. By the time you do that, man, you can “kick ass” in any speech you want. So, really get attempt.
You know, in the Vietnam War they had these prisoners of war and this one guy visualized himself playing golf every day. He visualized it and when he came out of that — when they were rescued and liberated and freed — his body was weak. As soon as he got his body back, his tennis game was twice as good, because of the practice that he had done in his mind, you see? You can do your speech that way. So, you practice your speech and get it done.
People would ask me as I was traveling, “I know you do Consulting and you train consultants and all. What is your core philosophy?” and I would tell them as follows — I’m going to give you what I told them — “Our belief is that the financial results of any businesses is largely dependant upon the quality of its people, from the CEO to the receptionist and everybody in between, and when you invest in the skills and abilities of the people, you get automatic and immediate results of every aspect of your business, including and especially the bottom line.” So, I memorized that—“Our belief is that the financial results of any businesses is largely dependant upon the quality of its people, from the CEO to the receptionist and everybody in between, and when you invest in the skills and abilities of the people, you get automatic and immediate results of every aspect of your business, including and especially the bottom line.” I memorized it.
So, why should I think about that when I can plan my presentation and deliver it that way? So, that’s how I do my speeches. No two speeches are the same. But I have confidence that if somebody said, “Dave, they want you to do a speech on ‘Illuminate’ or on my new book, which is called ‘Preventing Brand Slaughter’’, or “they want you to do on the book you wrote called ‘From Change Victim to Change Master’, or ‘Psyched on Service’”, I can right now go in there and do that speech, because I’ve got it embedded in my heart drive. My scanners, these great scanners, go to this amazing heart drive and boom! It’s in there. And as long as I have random access through I can google it, I can deliver that speech and I can tailor it to them; I can tailor it to today. That takes a lot of practice.
“But I want to be a speaker. But I don’t know if I want to do that much practice.” Then you’re not going to be a speaker or you’re going to be a one-trick wonder, or you’re just going…. But when you really “are it” and “be it” — You know the Pat Benatar’s song “Hit me with your best shot”…. Hit me with your best shot… I’ll go up and I’ll go, “Hit me with your best shot. I’m ready. I can do it.”
“Dave, it’s the middle of the night. I need you to get up and do a speech in about 20 minutes.” Cool! I put water on my face; I brush my teeth; I’m ready. Let’s do it.
David Laroche: I would love to know your opinion about one thing. There are a lot of people who are following great leaders—Tony Robbins, you… I would love to know your opinion… According to you, why some people have the content; they have the books, everything to change their life, and why they don’t?
David Corbin: Say again. Why they know it but they don’t take action?
David Laroche: Yes.
David Corbin: Is that the question?
David Laroche: Yes, they read the books; they are following huge seminars…
David Corbin: I got it. I mean, I know the question you’re asking. I want to say it in my own words. So, why is it that they go to the seminars; they read the books; they could even probably tell other people about it, but they don’t do it; they’re not living it? Is that the question?
David Laroche: Yes.
David Corbin: They’re not in integrity within. It comes back to what we talked about in the beginning of this conversation—illuminate. There’s something that’s holding them back. There’s something that’s holding them back. I’m going to give you an example. I used to do sales training; I’ve trained thousands of sales people. And these people really learned how to prospect, how to present, how to handle objections, how to close, how to manage… they know all that stuff; they could do seminars on it, but they don’t make any sales. Why don’t they make sales? They don’t realize they are in the real estate business and the real estate between this year and this year is important real estate. The real estate in here is important real estate, and they don’t realize that the mental game and the emotional game are going to define their success; the depths and breaths of their success. What’s in the way? What’s in the way? “I know all this stuff, Dave, I read the books; I could recite the books; I’ve gone to every seminar. Look at my charge account—I’ve spent all this money on this thing. Why isn’t my life in order?” That’s a good question. Are you ready for the answer? “Yes, please!” The answer is—your foot’s on the brake while you’re pushing on the gas. Your foot’s on the brake. And you keep pushing on the gas harder, harder, but this cosmic force, this hysterical life drama, this comedic tragedy is such that every action has an equal or greater reaction. And the more you push on that gas, the more it seems that the cosmic joke is—it pushes harder on the brake.
When you illuminate what the brake is; when you face that there is a brake holding you back — “By their fruits you shall know them” – you’ve got no fruits; something’s wrong. When you illuminate and say—What is that brake? “I don’t know!” What could it be? What might it be? “I don’t know!” “Seek and you shall find.” Make your goal your major definite purpose to look and see what could be that brake? What could be holding you back? Face it. Don’t make yourself crazy, but face it. Ask yourself, “What could be holding me back?” Then follow it—what might it be? What could be the cause? If I don’t face it, “what’s going to be my life?” and then fix it.
So, I say, generally speaking, the individual who goes to the seminar — I identify them in my audiences. These are people who’ve been to every seminar; they’re going to keep going to seminars and they still can’t pay their bills. Their life still sucks; they still can’t have a relationship. I look at them and I try to teach them. I hold my book up and I say, “Listen, go inside; illuminate the negative; find that what could be holding you back. When you release that brake, boom! You go flying. Boom! You go flying!” You got it? Anybody who’s a scientist, who wants to study this stuff in Physics, there is a study called “Force-Field Analysis”—it was developed by Dr. Kurt Lewin in 1943. He said there are driving forces and restraining forces. Most people focus on the driving forces and they don’t illuminate the restraining forces. David, you asked a good question.
David Laroche: Yes, it’s very important for me because I want to make a difference in their lives and it’s important for me that my clients get the message; take action; change their life, and I don’t understand sometimes why they don’t.
David Corbin: Well, that’s it. They need to illuminate that. I would work with sales people and they’d say, “You know, I hear this objection a lot. They give me this objection and I want to work on it.” So, I work with them and we work very hard. We look at the objection and we practice, and we look at what’s causing the objection and they get it. Boom! They’re ready. I say, “Give me the objection” and they give it back and I’m like boom! “High-five, high-five! I love you, man! You’re a great student. Get out of here and go be happy!” They call me up a month later and go, “David, I got a problem.” “What’s the problem?” “It’s about the objection.” I went, “That’s interesting. You seem to really have a doubt.” They go, “My problem is that nobody’s giving me the objection anymore. I’m all ready to answer the objection and nobody’s giving me the objection. Why is that?” I said, “Because metaphysically you’re not sending out a message saying ‘Don’t ask that question’, because of your confidence — you see? — your confidence.” So, we’ve illuminated that and we’ve eliminated that, and we moved forward.
So, why don’t people succeed when they study all this sort of stuff? It’s the mental game. It’s the mental game. Once you start clearing what some of these blockages are, what these things that are holding you back are—maybe “I don’t deserve success.” — Some people believe that. Unfortunately a high percentage of women believe that. It’s terrible what we’ve done in our societies. — “I don’t deserve it. I’m not good enough.” And they don’t realize that they believe that, but they believe that. When I work with them on their self-esteem and we broke the… all of a sudden everything they’ve learned can now come out. They could now utilize everything they’ve learned because we opened up a floodgate. We open a floodgate, you understand? When you have a clog in an artery or a clog in a pipe, it builds a pressure. When you relieve that clog… Whoa! It comes gushing through. You got it? So, what is the clog? What is the blockage? Often it’s psychological. That comes through meditation, prayer, psychotherapeutic counseling, neuro-linguistic counseling, time line therapy counseling. That’s getting to what we call “root cause analysis.” So, you just keep looking, and looking, and looking, and looking and looking and learning, and learning, and learning and learning, and learning, and you’re not getting any results. You’ve got to ask yourself, “Is there a blockage?” It’s often a blockage.
In the States we have a song and it says, “You’ve got accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.” It’s a song. And I say—well, accentuate the positive, yes. But don’t eliminate the negative until you illuminate the negative.
David Laroche: Great. Julie has two questions for you and I’ll come back for my last question.
David Corbin: Okay.
David Laroche: Thank you very much. It was awesome for me.
[Julie’s intervention from [00:52:16] to [00:58:39.0]]
Julie: I ask this question to everybody. It’s like a panel on education. So, my first question is about education. According to you, how could we improve education?
David Corbin: Well, there is an important question that we ask. We often say, “How smart is that kid?” And I learned through Dr. Gardner at Harvard University—don’t ask “How smart is that kid?” Ask, “How is that kid smart?” How is that kid smart? What are they good at? We say, “Oh, they’re really not good at Math, at Arithmetic, at Mathematics and Statistics”. But they can give you every statistic in their basketball… their basketball heroes. So, how could you say they’re not good at Statistics or Math when they know that? So, understand what their interests are, what motivates them and what turns them on, and apply the education through that system.
Some kids are visual; some kids are auditory; some are kinesthetic. We need to learn that. Some kids are very intellectual or inner-driven; some are outer-driven and learn that. I learned for example that my son Benjamin is a very detail-oriented kid. I’d say, “Ben, we’re going to go to the Zoo. Let’s go.” He’d go, “Oh, when?” “We’re going to go in a half hour.” He’d go, “When are we going to have lunch or what…?” He’d ask all these questions and I’d go, “Forget it. I don’t want to go now.” Then I realized he’s very detail-oriented. So, now I learned to say, “Ben, we’re going to go to the Zoo. In about half an hour I need you to clean your room, brush your teeth, be washed and we’re going to leave at 8:30. We’re going to be there for a while. Mommy’s going to make us some lunch; we’re going to have that there, so we can get back in time for you to do your homework and practice your… whatever.” He’d go, “Oh, that’s great!” And I thought, “Well, this is a detail-oriented kid.” He was about 6,5-7 years old when I realized that and I thought, “What can I put in front of a detail-oriented kid that’s going to make him thrive?” So, I thought—karate — karate, because they have to memorize all these moves. He’d probably be good at that, I don’t know — and Music—piano. Well, Benjamin is now 27 years old; he has three black belts in karate and he’s taking his Doctorate, on a full scholarship, in classical piano. So, don’t ask, “How smart is that kid?” Ask, “How is that kid smart?” And you can create an environment that they could flourish.
Julie: Thank you. I think it’s a great advice for the parents. Thank you.
David Corbin: You’re welcome.
Julie: My second question is about your vision of the world. According to you, what could be the three actions human beings could do to make this world a better place to live?
David Corbin: Well, my initial answer to that is a Beatles’ song where they sing, “Love, love, love… those are three things.” So, I’ll just say that’s one thing. One is “love” and within love is the subset—love yourself… love yourself; love your spirit. Then and only then can you love others; then and only then. Because I look at what’s going on with this “bullying” with the older kids — you know, the strong kids bullying the younger kids, and the reason they do that is because they don’t love themselves. I look at parents that don’t parent very well. They can’t really give love, because you can’t give a way which you don’t have. I can’t donate money, if I don’t have money. So, number one would be love.
Number two would be—“use your resources”. I’m not just talking about water and air and earth. I’m not talking about those resources. I’m talking about the resources—the power of your mind and of your thinking. When we focus on that we don’t have a shortage of clean air or clean water. We thought we had a gasoline shortage, but then we used our mind and then we created fuel injectors in the combustion engine requiring less fuel. So, I guess we didn’t have a shortage and then we developed electric cars, and then we developed solar-powered electric cars. So, by the renewal of our mind — we talk about renewable energy — this is the greatest… this is greatest one—renewing the mind.
And I would probably say the third one — I haven’t thought about it, but I would say—“collaboration”… collaboration and communication between nations, between people. We can’t expect collaboration between nations when we have neighbors living next to one another and they don’t even talk to one another. I say communication and collaboration. There’s a wonderful movie that came out years ago in the United States and this old man… God came back as this old man, and nobody knew that this old man was God except for this one guy who worked in the supermarket. And he said to the old man… he said, “God, you give us all these problems—you give us global warming and you give us economic problems, and wars, but God you don’t give us the solution.” And the old man said, “But… but… but I did give you the solution. I gave you one another.” So, I would say those are the three. I would say—love and utilizing the power of the mind, evolving and developing the mind and collaboration.
Julie: Thank you.
David Corbin: You’re welcome.
[end of Julie’s part 00:58:38]
David Laroche: Two last questions.
David Corbin: Yes.
David Laroche: One about bullying.
Yes, David, I have another question for you. You do a lot of things for youth. I would love to let you talk about your project and what you are doing. It’s very important for you. I believe a lot in what you are doing. Can we talk about that?
David Corbin: Well, yes. I don’t know statistics worldwide, but there is a terrible pandemic going on and teenagers are committing suicide in record proportions. They’re killing themselves. In fact, it’s the third largest cause of teenage death and a major contributor to that is bullying; bullying where people take advantage of other people. They prey upon the weak so to speak. So, groups of very popular or strong or powerful kids might — And we’ve seen this in movies, and it’s been going on forever. Well, now it’s happening in huge proportion because of the biggest weapon of mass destruction. The weapon of mass destruction is not a gun and it’s not a knife, and it’s not a bomb; it’s the internet—“cyber-bullying.” They go onto social networks or whatever and they embarrass; they humiliate; they frustrate; they bully people, and it brings people to such desperation.
So, we’ve created an awareness campaign for that… an awareness campaign. And we’ve created a video-based learning experience that can go in to schools; that people could learn, kids could learn—both the people who are being been bullied and the bullies, and all the other people who might just watch and let it happen, which is a terrible thing. That’s just like in the Holocaust, knowing that these concentration camps existed and people just said, “Well, it’s not my problem.” Oh my God, what a crime against humanity! And what a crime it is for young kids to see other kids getting bullied and nobody’s doing anything about it. No one wins. So, we developed this video, amazing program. We call it “A.B.L.E – Anti Bullying Learning Experience.” Anti Bullying Learning Experience. I think it’s .com or whatever. It’s easy to find us I think. And Alex Rennie was the fellow who had the seminal idea for this; a wonderful young thought-leader with a heart as big as the ocean.
David Laroche: What is his name?
David Corbin: Alex Rennie—R-E-N-N-I-E. Alexander Rennie—a wonderful fellow. I’m actually supposed to be on a teleconference right now with Alex and another individual, and we’ve joined forces. And this other individual, when he was a high-school kid he saw this other kid getting bullied, and they used to beat this kid up all because the kid wore a pink shirt one day. And he saw this kid wearing a pink shirt and — They called him names; they called him “fag”, and they called him all these different… and they beat the crap out of him. And this guy who was older — this kid was older; he was a senior in high school, older — he went in there and he said, “Stop it! Break it up!” And he got some of his friends and said, “This bullying stuff has got to stop. It’s got to stop.” And he and his friends got together and they all got together, and they all wore pink shirts that day, as a solidarity against this thing called “bullying.” Now, in Canada — and I think it’s called “Pink Shirt Every Day” or something like that. It’s .ca; I’m not sure — Now in Canada that’s what they do, and it’s taking off and it’s going worldwide—“Pink Shirt Every Day” to bring awareness of this bullying thing.
So, A.B.L.E and then this “Pink Every Day” or something I think it’s called—these are campaigns that are making a difference to bring this to fruition. Whenever anybody asks me, “What are you passionate about?” — I’m passionate about a lot of stuff. One is—too many young people are getting bullied today and, if they live, and if they don’t kill themselves or hurt themselves, they live with a mental blemish. I remember talking with you one time, David, about people who have low-self esteem or a low-self confidence early on. It often comes from that bullying. Somebody told them at an early age, “You’re not good enough” and that negativity is carried on through the rest of their life. And when bullies learn this — the effect that they have on somebody’s life — they realize, “Oh my God! I didn’t know I was doing that.” And when you ask the bullies, “Why do you do that?” and you illuminate to the root cause—it’s because either they were bullied or they don’t feel good enough about themselves; they feel lack of connection. Thank you for asking it.
David Laroche: Great. Thank you very much. My last question is a funny question. My goal is to touch people in a way that they were not touched before, maybe. My question will be—how to become a loser? The goal is to say the opposite of what you were saying before, because I love to touch people… I know that they don’t want to become losers, but maybe they are acting sometimes in the “losing” way, and they will remember that. Okay, are you ready?
David Corbin: I’m so ready.
David Laroche: Okay. David, I have a serious question for you. I’ll ask you to stay serious. How to become a loser?
David Corbin: It’s very simple. I can give you a whole course on “how to be a loser”, but first let me get into the position. I’m going to get into the position.
David Laroche: Yes, me too. I’ll synchronize with you.
David Corbin: Well, one way to be a loser is to play a game called “PLUM”—P-L-U-M—and it’s called “Poor Little Unfortunate Me.” Hahhhh… To sigh a lot and to be closed. And to play another game called “AIA”—“Ain’t It Awful?” Ain’t It Awful? No smiling…
David Laroche: Sorry.
David Corbin: There’s no smiling. If you’re going to be a loser, you can’t smile. Losers don’t smile! Now, get serious!
David Laroche: It’s hard for me; I have to learn that.
David Corbin: Me too. So, “Poor Little Unfortunate Me” and “Ain’t It Awful?” and “I’m going to set some expectations in life, because they say I should have goals.” So, the loser’s goal is to have a crappy life; anticipate a crappy life, and then like a magnet attracts into its life – “its” life by the way — attracts into its life people, situations and things which resonate with that “loser” mentality. And then when it happens, they’re reinforced and say, “See, I told you it was going to be crappy. I knew it. I mean, it never works.” Yes, but you did pretty good. “Yeah, well, I got lucky but you know it’s….”
So, the loser is a loser by choice. They choose to play certain games — Stop laughing. Cut it out — So, they choose to play certain games. They set things up for loss and “surprise, surprise” they lose and say, “You see, boom! I won!” You won, great! “No, I won the bet. I told you I was going to lose and I lost.” So, that’s what happens. And there’s a vortex that happens and they become a “velcro.” There’s the fuzzy part and the hook part. The fuzzy part is saying, “I really want to find negative things to happen.” And “surprise, surprise”, “Seek and you shall find”, “Ask and you will receive”—you ordered up crap, you’re served crap. And the universe is right there like a waiter with a tray, saying, “Did someone order crap here? Oh, yes, Mr. Loser, here’s your crap.” You ordered it, you got it. So, that’s a couple of ways to be a loser.
David Laroche: That’s great. Thank you very much.
David Corben: Can I change now, because I want to cancel that, right? Ctrl+Alt+Delete Boom! I’m a winner! I’m a happy, loving, healthy, rich, prosperous, engaged, admired, grateful, dutiful man! Boom! I’m back!
David Laroche: Thank you very much.
David Corbin: How did you like that trip? It’s a lousy trip….
David Laroche: Thank you.
David Corbin: All right.
David Laroche: Yes, a last short question without me, okay? You stay there. The goal is to do less than two minutes, short. According to you, what could be the key factors of success? And you look at the camera.
David Corbin: The key factors of success are very, very simple. I’m going to say not even the plural, but the singular—they key factor to success is take personal responsibility for everything in your life. When you get a head cold, go and say, “I attracted that in my life.” If you get a car accident, you take personal responsibility and I say that… and I say it because when you get really serious about building a life — I mean a big life — you’re going to open up every aspect of your body, every cell in your body is going to look for opportunity—opportunity to grow; opportunity to grow towards and opportunity and things to go away from. “What am I doing that’s holding me back? What am I doing that’s getting me there?” That’s great! Pat yourself on the back. But what are some of the things that I’m doing that might be holding me back, that I want to illuminate? So, take personal responsibility for every aspect of your life and know, and envision, and create the life of your dreams. It’s right there for you; it’s waiting for you. See it? It’s right there!
David Laroche: Great. I love that. Perfect.
David Corbin: Okay.
David Laroche: And lastly, I would like to have a testimonial from you.
David Corbin: How many times is he going to say “the last thing”? We’re done—one more thing. We’re done—one more thing.
David Laroche: I said that ten times.
David Corbin: So far it’s eight; I’ve been counting. A testimonial?
David Laroche: My name is David Laroche and just what do you think about David Laroche. You can start.
David Corbin: Should I introduce myself?
David Laroche: Yes, you can do.
David Corbin: Hi, I’m Dave Corbin. I’m here in the United States. I’m known as the “Mentor to Mentors” and I author, and I invent and I do all kind of stuff. But I’m not here to talk about me; I’m here to talk about my friend David Laroche. He is the kind of guy who gives me confidence in this world. Why? Because he is young; he is bright and he’s committed. He’s young — I hate when people that are younger than me are smarter than me, but he’s young and he’s pretty damn smart. He’s bright and he’s committed, and he’s come up with some ideas on “How can I spread some of the best of breed thinking in the world and communicate that out to the rest of the world?” And what a noble goal that is. That’s pretty cool. He asks the right questions; he really does. I see as I give some of those answers he assimilates them. Then he has what I call “a level of integrate of complexity” that when he takes the answers in, he knows what direction to take the conversation. And I’m thinking when he does this, in his career, by bringing thought-leaders together and sharing them with you and with me, he’s going to make a difference. So, I give a “thumbs up” to that guy. Anyway, I could support him; he knows I’m in his camp.
David Laroche: Great! Thank you very much. It was awesome.
[End of recorded material at 01:11:35]