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How to Discover What You Really Want and find your skills ? – Steve Olsher

David Laroche: Hello Achievers! Today we are in Chicago and I am with a new guest. I did an interview a few months ago so you know him. He’s Steve Olsher. He wrote a few books, best-seller books. I have one in my—I don’t know how to say that—that in my hand…

Steve Olsher: In your hand, yes.

David Laroche: So it is “Internet Prophets” and you can have it live too. Another book called “Journey to You”. I will interview him on success, on how to become happy and how to succeed.

Hello Steve.

Steve Olsher: Hey, how are you? Welcome to Chicago!

David Laroche: How are you?

Steve Olsher: I am very good, thank you. All good.

David Laroche: Thank you very much to take time to answer my questions. I have a lot of questions to ask you.

Steve Olsher: Good.

David Laroche: I’ll let you introduce yourself.

Steve Olsher: I can do that! I’m a lifelong entrepreneur. I started my own businesses literally from the time I was old enough to kind of pick up a rake and move some leaves around. I started very early in the music business, so I played drums for a lot of years and deejayed for a lot of years. Then I ended up opening my own night club when I was 20 years old—so very young.

That worked up pretty good for a while and then I ended up moving on to the catalog business and the dotcoms and real estate and so on. But about five years ago I had my personal wake up call, the epiphany—however you might call it—where something happens and you can go in one direction or in another direction.

So for me I was with my stepfather, who was very much a father to me and raised me since I was ten. He was dying, he was sick on his deathbed and I was holding his hand and he couldn’t talk anymore, but he communicated I think through the body. I had a vision of my funeral—not of his funeral, but my funeral—and I could hear the words being spoken graveside and there were “Here lies Steve Olsher, he dedicated his life to chasing the Almighty Dollar” and that’s all that was said.

It hit me really hard because he was saying basically, “This is your fate, this is your destiny, unless you move in a different direction.” I really took that in deeply and I didn’t know what I wanted to do or what that was going to mean, but I knew I had to do something different.

It was from that point that I started writing and started sharing things that had worked well for me in my life—the tips, tools, strategies, shortcuts—that I thought might help other people. That, again, I had no idea what that was going to become but that became the book “Journey to You”, a step by step guide to become in who you were born to be, which was named “Self-Help Book of the Year” after it was released. It’s just great to be honored that way, but…

David Laroche: It’s a great book.

Steve Olsher: Thank you! So five years ago if you had asked me what I’d be here today doing this work I could’ve never said, “Yes, this is what I’d be doing,” but over this time I’ve become very clear that I have a unique gift, an inherent gift, an intuitive gift for helping people become very clear on what they are really born to do.

So I’ve now moved forward with this work and it’s all a matter of answering the question of, “What is your what? What is the one thing your soul is really compelled to do?” And then, once you can answer that question, then everything else really begins to fall into place.

So since that time with my stepfather I’ve concentrated on writing, I’ve concentrated on speaking, on teaching, on training and that’s put me to where I am now.

David Laroche: It’s amazing because you felt that it’s the way you have to be, to go. Did you have some fears? Because you felt something deeply inside yourself, but did you have some fear to take this direction?

Steve Olsher: Personal fears, outside perspective as well, all leading against saying, “This is not something you should do.” Because when you think about what most people say when you want to completely change who you are or go in a different direction, the people that know you best—your friends, your family—they say, “Who are you to write a book? Who are you to try to teach people? What do you know about teaching people? You know about this, this and this. You don’t know about this, this and that.”

So that’s the question. Who are you to do such a thing and even your own dialogue, what you say to yourself, it’s a lot of, “I don’t know, maybe I can't do this because I haven’t done it before.”

David Laroche: You had these kinds of fears.

Steve Olsher: For sure.

David Laroche: It’s very interesting because a lot of people are believing that successful people don’t have any fears.

Steve Olsher: I think that when you become complacent, where you no longer have the nervous energy or you no longer have the fear, where you no longer question whether or not this will work, I think then it becomes very difficult to stay fired up, to stay in the moment, to stay present because then it becomes a matter of, “This is too comfortable.”

So what an entrepreneur is always doing is trying to stay uncomfortable. So when you are uncomfortable you have fear. And if you don’t have fear, then you have complacency. Does this make sense? Yes.

So I think fear is a natural byproduct of trying to do something new and trying to do something different.

David Laroche: It’s part of the process.

Steve Olsher: It’s a process, for sure, and you always need to be a little fearful of what can happen, otherwise, if you have too much confidence, then you won't work as hard.

David Laroche: And if you don’t have fears it’s because you are not in a good place.

Steve Olsher: If you don’t have fears, some can say that you’re in a place that is where you’d know the outcome.

David Laroche: It’s predictable.

Steve Olsher: And so the question is, “Do you always want to be in a situation where you know the outcome?” And if you don’t take chances because you don’t know what that outcome will be, then odds are good you will stay exactly as you are right now.

David Laroche: So the first step to overcome fear could be to accept them like a part of like a process.

Steve Olsher: Yes. So there’s a fine line between fear and excitement. I tend to look at that fear as a nervous energy, as an excitement, as a feeling that means I’m moving in the right direction.

David Laroche: So it indicates inside yourself that you are in the right way.

Steve Olsher: For me, yes. I don’t know if you have experienced this but where—

David Laroche: It think so, I believe in what you are saying. I think the fear helps you to find your desire.

Steve Olsher: And like the butterflies, you know when the stomach is kind of a little unsettled but it’s excited, it’s just you kind of get this feeling and that to me means you‘re heading in the right direction.

David Laroche: I think it will help a lot of people to hear that.

Steve Olsher: Good.

David Laroche: In your book you are dealing with four stages of learning. Can you explain what they are and how we can use these four steps to improve ourselves? Because it’s one step to know that they are existing, and how we can use these four steps to improve?

Steve Olsher: So, the four steps that you’re referring to are part of what Dr. Thomas Gordon calls “The Four Stages of Learning”. It’s also known as his “Conscious Competence” learning stages model.

So I didn’t come up with this but I adapted those teachings in a way that I think it’s relative for today because it’s older teaching. So I took that teaching and modified it for today. So “The Four Stages of Learning” is really interesting because it’s so accurate, and as I found out about this study then I thought, “Yes, he really understands kind of what we go through.”

The process is really interesting because it starts with what’s called “unconscious incompetence”, which means that we don’t even know that something is going on. So maybe you have a particular problem in your life and maybe it’s with love or money or success, something, and you always get the same results but you don’t know why. This is “unconscious incompetence” where you don’t even know what’s going on, but for some reason you just keep seeing these same results in your life.

So the key really that is to take those areas in your life and bring them towards what’s known as “conscious incompetence”, because conscious incompetence now means that you are aware that this is a problem.

David Laroche: So how to fix?

Steve Olsher: But how do you fix it? So now you say, “Well, I spend all of my money so this is why I’m always broke, this is why I can't pay my rent and I’m always worried about putting food on the table because I spend all my money.” That’s why, so now I know that that’s what I’m doing. So at least you are aware.

David Laroche: I’m saying, “each time,” for example.

Steve Olsher: Say it again?

David Laroche: For example for someone who is doing public speaking, conscious incompetence could be, “I say ‘each time’…”

Steve Olsher: Yes, exactly. Before you didn’t know that you were doing this, and now, when you present, you start saying, “Um, uh…” or something. Now you know you’re doing this. So once you know, now you’re in that conscious incompetence stage.

So the next stage is then to move what’s called “conscious competence”, which means that you can avoid saying, “Um, uh…” or whatever it might be during your presentation, using that as an example, but you still have to think about it. So you’re consciously—

David Laroche: You’re focusing on how to do the things.

Steve Olsher: Yes. You’re consciously aware of making sure that you don’t do that, making sure that you don’t say that. So you have to think about it. You get your desired results, but you have to think about the process.

The ideal situation is to go to the final stage, which is what known as “unconscious competence”, which is where some people call it “the zone”, where everything just happens and you don’t think about it. It’s just a natural part of who you are. Like I’m a practitioner of the martial arts…

David Laroche: Yes, I liked you [00:18:23].

Steve Olsher: So when you are in the other stages you have to think about every move. You have to physically and mentally exhaust your body to make things happen, whereas when you reach the stage of unconscious competence, then it just happens.

David Laroche: You’re doing the things.

Steve Olsher: You’re just doing these things. It’s like muscle memory where your body just knows what to do and your mind just knows what to do. This is where you can appear potentially magical to the rest of the world.

David Laroche: When we were working a few years ago, we did not know how to work and now it’s easy.

Steve Olsher: Yes, exactly. I mean, it can go to any area of your life.

David Laroche: So it’s amazing. How we can step up—I don’t know how to say—step up in each step? For example, when we are unconscious incompetence and how we can do to…

Steve Olsher: So one of the key things to do is to look for areas of your life where you’re constantly…

David Laroche: Don’t have the results.

Steve Olsher: Experiencing frustration or you’re constantly having to over exert, use too much energy, so the idea is where you always sort of putting out fires, where is it always like “Panic! Panic! Panic!” It’s just always something that’s very difficult for you to do. So that might be an area where you lack competence for whatever reason. If you have a love and then every six months you’re breaking up, something like this, maybe there’s something there. So you have to explore and find out exactly what’s going on in that area of your life. Maybe you get jobs and then you get fired from your job every year or something. Maybe this is an area of your life where you have frustration and where you have difficulty.

If that’s the case, then this might be an area of your life where you’re suffering in that state of unconscious incompetent. The next step is just to say, “This is an area of my life that I have to improve upon. This is something that I need to take a look at.” Once you’re able to do that, then you can move it potentially to the next stage, and then to the next stage and then, hopefully, you master one area of your life. But ultimately, if you can just master one area of your life, you can be compensated in levels that are far superior to your counterparts. The world rewards you when you achieve that state of unconscious competence, because so few people ever attain that level, that’s why they really stand above.

So even if it’s just one area of your life, whether it’s playing a musical instrument beautifully or whether it’s writing a book or whether it’s doing interviews or whatever it might be, public speaking, it’s just people applaud and compensate you very, very well when you achieve that final level. But most people only on one area of their life can they do this.

David Laroche: So according to you, when we are looking at success in people, they have a lot of competences. We are not born with these competences? They are unborn with these competences?

Steve Olsher: Well, see, I believe that we are born with those competencies. I believe that each of us is wired to excel in a very specific way and that our DNA—your DNA, her DNA, my DNA—we’re all wired to excel in very different ways. So it’s there. It’s simply a matter of you tapping into that and recognizing that this is something that is there.

Most people spend a lifetime denying what that is, both for themselves and for the rest of the world, because the reality is that you have a gift to share, you have something that the world is waiting for you to share with them, but most people never do that.

David Laroche: So you are saying that we have the competencies, we have to unleash it not to create it.

Steve Olsher: That’s exactly right. We have to unleash it and not create it. That is a great way to put it. That’s perfect, I love that. I will use that.

David Laroche: You can.

Steve Olsher: Thank you.

David Laroche: I have a very important question, because a lot of people are following me and we have a lot of books explaining you have to be in a positive state, with a good energy, but sometimes they have problems, sometimes they have bad moods. How to switch very quickly? Do you have a process? My question could be do you have sometimes bad mood?

Steve Olsher: Always. There are people out there who come across like always blowing sunshine out of their butts. It’s like all day long sunshine, sunshine. To me that’s not real. To me we’re human beings. Every month, if you’re a woman, you’re going to have something you go through every month that affects your mood. It’s just the kind of way it is. But men are no different. We have something month in and month out, we may not have the same body situation going on, but there’s something going on. Maybe it’s the moon, maybe it’s something that happens, but every month there’s always something for every person, whether you’re man or woman, doesn’t matter.

So reality is that if you come across people who are saying, “I’m always happy,” they’re lying, it’s full of shit. It’s not real. We’re going to have those moments. How do you deal with those moments? That’s the question.

David Laroche: Yes.

Steve Olsher: So, from my perspective, one of the best ways that I have found to deal with those types of moods is through music. So music has always been something that I go back to. Again, I started playing the drums very early, I deejayed for a number of years, so music for me has always been a source of connecting to my soul and connecting to my core.

When it gets really bad and, most of the time when we’re in that place it’s usually when it’s quiet. We get our mind going and then our mind plays games with us and starts thinking, “This won't work,” or, “This is bad,” or, “Why am I doing this?” It’s always when it’s silent. You can’t do that when you’re talking to somebody else, you can't do that when there’s music playing, you can't do that when you’re walking outside enjoying the sunshine. It’s usually when you’re home or in your office alone and there’s nothing else going on.

So sometimes you just have to break through your environment and get out of your situation. Sometimes it’s calling a friend and just saying, “Hey, I need to get together and talk,” or it’s maybe you’re a nature person and you need to get outside and walk by some water or maybe you’re a music person and you need to listen to some good music. It depends on who you are, but ultimately you have a trigger, you have something that connects for you.

David Laroche: You have to find it.

Steve Olsher: Yes. I got to tell you, from my perspective, exercise has always been a good way to get out of your mind.

David Laroche: You mean physical exercise?

Steve Olsher: Yes. So for me, martial art is always really good.

David Laroche: When you say that, you say to switch or in a daily, every day?

Steve Olsher: It’s a routine?

David Laroche: Yes.

Steve Olsher: So from a routine standpoint. It’s great to be able to exercise every day. That’s something I can't do just because of my schedule. I try to do it three or four times a week, but that doesn’t always work either. I need something that I can go to easily and for me, if it’s really bad, then it’s always music.

David Laroche: It is a ritual. If you have bad mood, how long do you wait to go to listen music or to play music?

Steve Olsher: Right, so that’s where that whole conscious competence learning stages model comes in, which is when you’re in that state of just conscious incompetence, you’ve got all these bad thoughts going on and you don’t even realize that is driving you on a consistent basis is awareness.

David Laroche: You don’t listen as a voice, maybe you’re only in a bad mood.

Steve Olsher: Yes. So the first step is then that awareness where, “Wow! I’m in a really bad place right now. I’m thinking really bad thoughts. I’m really unhappy,” whatever it might be. It’s that point where you just keep going down, down, down and then you realize, “Man, I’m in a bad place.” So that’s when it becomes that state of awareness.

So that’s really key, it’s to just understand that that’s what’s going on. So once you can just understand that you’re in this really bad place, that’s when you can make the shift. The problem is most people get too far down and don’t realize that they’re on this downward slide and then by the time they get to the bottom, they’re really down on the bottom and maybe they’ve done some really bad things along that way to hit the bottom. So the faster you can stop yourself on that slide, the easier it will be to come back up to the pinnacle.

David Laroche: The key I’m listening when you are saying that is to not focus only on the short term, but in the long term. “If I continue to do that where will I be?”

Steve Olsher: Potentially.

David Laroche: To realize I am decreasing.

Steve Olsher: You know, most people can't think that way. They don’t understand how far down they can really go because most of us have never reached as far down as we can go. We can continue to slide and for a lot of people it takes something really bad to happen to realize how far down you’ve gone, but that’s very rare.

So the idea is that for most of us we can catch it. The key is just to catch it as quickly as you possibly can, based on your own knowledge, based on your own abilities, but ultimately it is difficult when you’re in the middle of it. That’s where no matter how bad you’re feeling, if you can just get outside of your element, leave your house, go to a place of nature, go to do something that’s out of where you are now, no matter how bad you’re feeling it will change your perspective.

David Laroche: That’s cool advice. If you’re staying in the place where you’re not in a good, it’s not helping you—

Steve Olsher: It will get worse.

David Laroche: Thank you very much. I loved your answer. In your book there is something amazing, it is your “Vortex of Vulnerability”. I would love to know what it is, and especially I would love you to explain to people what it is.

Steve Olsher: So the “Vortex of Vulnerability” is based on the conscious competent learning stages model. So what it is it’s designed to help you bring to the surface those areas of your life that may not be serving you well. And so the idea is that there are definitive things that happen in your life. The key is where do you consistently find those problem areas. What this particular exercise does is it helps you to identify where those areas of your life might be so that you can learn to avoid those situations moving forward.

So if you know that, like for me, for whatever reason when one of my kids spills something, whatever it might be—a bottle of juice or a bowl of cereal or whatever it might be—for me I just lose it. It’s just one of those things where just triggers something in me and I just go crazy.

So the question is how do you avoid some of that stuff in the future. So if I see like my son’s glass on the edge of the table, it’s just simply a matter of taking the cup and moving it to the middle of the table. Something really small like that, something very subtle can make big differences. So it’s really a matter of just identifying where in your life you have a tendency to lose it and then trying to figure out solutions so that you can avoid those situations in the future.

Then there’s also the question of things that have happened to you in your life that may have had just what I call “Unequivocal life altering ramifications”. So maybe you were a victim of abuse as a child or maybe you try to get into a college and you couldn’t get into the college or maybe you’ve had someone that you loved and you wanted to be with and then something happened and you chose never to love again. I mean, something happened and the question is what happened in your life, and more importantly, how did you eternalize what happened so that the character traits that you display now are a reflection of those moments.

So if you can become clear on those life altering moments and how that’s affected you to this day, then you can begin thinking about how you can repair what it is that you’ve internalized from those moments.

And then the third step is to understand where your disconnects are. A disconnect is where the way that you see things is not the way that the rest of the world sees things. So you might think you’re a happy, sweet, good guy and yet you have no friends, people don’t call you on your birthday, this sort of thing. So you have this one perspective on what you think is going on, but then reality says something else. So if that’s the case, then you just have to simply try to bring those disconnects to the surface and try to repair those disconnects so that if you think you are a good friend, then you act like a good friend and if you think you’re a good father then you do things that will reflect what a good father would do. It’s the question of—

David Laroche: Congruency.

Steve Olsher: Congruency, absolutely. So, you know, the “Vortex of Vulnerability” is really designed to kind of bring up to the surface some of the dirt and then the “Vortex of Invincibility”, which is the next exercise—

David Laroche: And we can find these exercises in your book?

Steve Olsher: In the book “Journey to You”, then in my new book “What is your What? Discover the one amazing thing you were born to do.”

David Laroche: When will it be published?

Steve Olsher: This will come out at the end of September. So that’ll be great. “What is your What? Discover the one amazing thing you were born to do.”

David Laroche: I think it will help a lot of people.

Steve Olsher: Thank you. I appreciate that. Like I was saying—

David Laroche: And maybe us because a lot of us are wondering which is my what.

Steve Olsher: And I know Europe is having a lot of problems now with the economy and a lot of the unemployment. So in Greece you see the kids they’re riding, they got 50 % unemployment. It’s kind of scary what’s going on in a lot of Europe, and then of course, will move to Chicago and the United States as well. At some point here is going to happen.

It’s just the way that it is, but if we can get people clear on what it is that they’re really compelled to do, and then they pursue that and they don’t rely on others to create their life, but instead they become the creator, then it will take on a much different forms. We have to get people clear on how to become a creator.

David Laroche: Just before you were saying about the other principles, the “Vortex of Invincibility”, what is it?

Steve Olsher: Yes, the “Vortex of Invincibility” is the second exercise whereas the “Vortex of Vulnerability” kind of shows you things in your life that aren’t working well and you want to kind of avoid those things moving forward. The “Vortex of Invincibility” is really everything that does work well. So it’s the areas of your life where you’ve had success, the relationships that work well for you.

Basically when you put your mind to achieving a particular result and you’ve met with those expectations or exceeded those expectations. So the “Vortex of Vulnerability” is really all about sort of avoiding those areas of your life, and the “Vortex of Invincibility” is all about directing more of your life towards those activities.

I have an expression that I use, which is called “Emotional Nirvana”, which is basically where you just kind of are and things are just congruent. It’s almost as though time flies by like maybe you love to build model trains or something, so you go into your basement at 6 o’clock after dinner and then, by the time you turn around, it’s midnight, 12 am. So the question is, “Where in your life do you experience that emotional nirvana, where everything is just is and life just couldn’t be any better?”

David Laroche: It’s a flow.

Steve Olsher: It’s a flow. It’s a state of flow, exactly. So if you can achieve that state of emotional nirvana on more of a consistent basis, then you can imagine how your life would feel differently. So reality is that for most people they spend 99 % of their life in a state where they’re doing everything else that they feel they have to do and they don’t want to do, and maybe 1 % of their life is doing something that is very fulfilling for who they are and for what their soul craves. So if you can switch that, you can imagine how different your life would be.

David Laroche: So life will be as life with others would be. Great.

I have a question and I will let Julie ask you something. Do you have some life lessons you want to share to us? Do you have children?

Steve Olsher: I do, nine and six. So not quite probably some of the people who will be watching this, but nevertheless I can speak to that because I talk to…

David Laroche: I will ask you the question differently. What message would you like to give to your children?

Steve Olsher: To my children?

David Laroche: Yes. Your children and the others, maybe the same message is important for you. It could be fun. You will show them this video maybe in ten years. What could be the message you would like they see in ten years?

Steve Olsher: I would say the same thing to them, my children, as I would say to everyone else, which is—and if I may I’ll talk to the camera on this one, it’s OK?

David Laroche: Yes, you can.

Steve Olsher: Reality is that you were born to do something amazing, and one person absolutely has the power to change the world. So you can look at people like, of course, Dr. Martin Luther King and Mother Theresa and Mahatma Gandhi and these wonderful examples of people who have done things on a global scale, and there’s no reason at all why you can't have that same sort of impact and it all begins with answering that key question of, “What is your what? What is that one thing that you’re really compelled to do?” And when you can figure out what that is and you focus your life on making that the reason for being, and that’s when everything else absolutely falls into place.

So my wish for you is that you become very clear on what you love, that you become very clear on the uniqueness that you have, because once you understand how you’re naturally wired to excel and you stop living in denial about what those things are and you stop worrying about what everyone else thinks, that’s when you can leave an impact not just on those who share this lifetime with you, but have impact on those generations to come.

That’s what I wish for you, and if I’m talking to my children here, then that’s certainly what I wish for my boys as well.

David Laroche: Thank you very much. It was well.

I’ll let Julie ask you something and I will come back to ask you a few things. Thank you very much. If you want to drink maybe?

Steve Olsher: I’m OK. I’m fine.

David Laroche: Your last message was very powerful, I love that.

Steve Olsher: Good.

Julie: [00:39:59].

David Laroche: I’m very happy you were looking at the camera to do that.

Steve Olsher: OK, good.

Julie: You know, Steve, Gandhi said, “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” And I’ve met and know lots of people who are wishing the world to be in peace and live with people and enjoy. What would you recommend to each person to start being the change they wish to see?

Steve Olsher: What I would recommend is, first of all, understand what that change is because a lot of people only understand what they don’t like. So you have to become clear on what you do like. That’s really where a lot of people miss the boat and they really get so caught up in everything that’s wrong and they don’t concentrate on what is right.

So what I say is that is really easy to be critic, which means you’re always just criticizing things that are going on—whether it’s the government or the work force or it’s other people that you experience, etc. People are just very quick to be a critic and it’s so easy to be a critic, but it’s really hard to be a creator.

So what I implore people to do is to become a creator. And if you can become a creator, and understand what that change is that you want to see, that change can inevitably happen for you. It doesn’t have to happen for everyone, it just has to happen for you.

Julie: Let’s imagine that someone just wants his children to be true to themselves, live a life true to themselves, so this mother or this father wants to live a true to themselves. How to do to, because it’s not that easy when you have some traits and you have longed to live a life—I don’t know how to say it. How to do to live a life true to oneself?

Steve Olsher: So living a life true to oneself. What you’re really saying is how do you become congruent with who you are and what is that you’re really compelled to do. It all begins with understanding what that is. Most people just will go a lifetime without ever tapping into what that is, so the reality is that there’s four types of people in this world.

You have what I call “birthers”, which are people who are born knowing exactly what it is that they’re born to do. So they’ve known from day one. They’ve always known they will never veer from that. It’s just who they are and they know.

Then you have people that are called “shifters”. And the shifters are people who potentially are close to what it is that they’re compelled to do. For instance I worked with a woman who was a nurse, and she—I don’t know, have probably been a nurse for 30 something years or so—and she liked what she did, but she always kind of felt like a piece was missing. And she was a nurse in a general hospital. Once she became clear that the people that she’s most compelled to serve are the disadvantaged elderly, that’s when everything really shifted for her. So then she found a job working with the disadvantaged elderly and that’s when it really became just congruent with who she is and everything took on a much different form.

So they’re shifters, they are re-inventors who start with one career and end up doing something completely different because what they were doing is not congruent with who they are. So like I have a friend who started as a chiropractor, somebody who works with backs, and then woke up one day after doing this for 15-18 years and said, “This is not what I want to be doing.” So he rediscovered himself and realized that he has a gift and a desire to help people find love. So he actually is now known as this smarter dating coach and helps people find love. I mean that’s a full on reinvention.

Then you have people that I call “wanderers”, which are people who go through life and never really connect with who they are and what it is that they’re compelled to do and frankly they don’t care. So most people fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, go through life as a wanderer.

It’s a matter then of understanding what category you fall into and understanding where it is that you really want to go, because most people won't ever become clear on where they want to go, don’t have any goals, don’t have any objectives, just feel as though life is basically just something we do until we die. That’s reality. For some people that’s who they are, that’s what they believe and it’s unfortunate because I strongly believe that everyone has something very unique, a unique gift to share and we are all an expert in something and we can all teach others about something and we can all help improve others and there are people out there who are waiting for that message. There are people out there who literally have been waiting for you to deliver the message that they need in order for them to change their lives.

It’s kind of a very long answer to your question, but reality is that you have to understand which category you fall into and if you’re OK with where you are in your life right now, and make the change if you’re not. Does that make sense?

Julie: Yes, thank you very much.

I have a second question. It’s about education. How do you think we could improve education?

Steve Olsher: Get rid of it. I mean, to me, the way that the educational system is structured right now is inherently flawed. We base educational success on the wrong things. We determine how someone performs based on tests and based on standardized procedures. All this does is create a society of people who can basically just answer test questions.

This leads us to nowhere because, as you probably know as a former student, or maybe you’re still a student, 85 % of what you learn you forget about in 24 hours anyway. The remaining you forget over the course of three to six months. So very, very little of what we learn we retain unless it’s something that we’re thoroughly interested and something that we’re thoroughly just want to pursue, as potentially a career or it’s just congruent with who we are so we gravitate towards that.

So I’m OK with providing people with some degree of formalized education, but really it’s a matter of helping people understand who they inherently are helping our children become clear on what the options are and then sending them out into the world so that they can realize and live what life really is all about. Then come back and pursue the education that they need in order to make a career out of what it is that they’re really inspired to do.

So when we have 17, 18, 19, 20-year old children going to college, it’s just a waste of money, of time, of energy, of resources, etc., because you can't ask a child to understand who they are and who they want to become. There’s a very small piece of the population that knows that answer and so maybe they’re a birther, they knew from birth what it is that they really want to do. So if you know you want to be a doctor, then you go out and you pursue that education. Most people aren’t that clear. Most people don’t know that.

So I think that education as it stands now is really a terribly flawed system where, again, we teach our children the basics, but we really don’t teach our children how to live. There’s much more value, in my opinion, in understanding what the basics are and then teaching our children how to live so they can be productive citizens and be happy individuals and really impact our world on a positive level as opposed to just a “consumptory” level where they’re just consumers, and so there’s a different state of mind of being a contributor and being a consumer. And right now we train our students to be consumers as opposed to contributors. Does that make sense?

Julie: Yes, thank you very much.

David Laroche: It was awesome.

Julie: It’s great. I’m very glad to have heard that.

David Laroche: She has a lot of answers now.

Steve Olsher: Good.

David Laroche: I have a last question for you, two last questions. My last question it is a weird question, I have to explain you why I ask you that.

The goal is to touch people in a way they are not touched with others. My question will be, it’s not recording, my question it is how to become an average person, unhappy and a loser? I will make a video with the best keys of each interviewee to become unhappy. The goal is to make a funny video but I know I will touch people who are not touched by success, happy and it’s powerful to have in mind what to avoid.

So, Steve, we are dealing with success and happy and I’m fed up about that today. I have a question I love to ask. I would like to help people to become unhappy, become average persons, and become losers. Do you have some advice, some strategies to become losers?

Steve Olsher: Well, that’s a great question.

David Laroche: Yes, very important question.

Steve Olsher: It’s a very important question. So reality is that if you want to become a loser and you want to become unhappy, you want to become an average—

David Laroche: I would like to try before.

Steve Olsher: Try all you can. So the good news is you don’t have to try. That’s easy. If you want to become a loser you don’t have to do anything. If you want to become very average and become very unhappy, all you have to do is do what most of your friends are doing. Do most of what you see in the world and, man, you can live exactly that same kind of life, because reality is people don’t want you to succeed. People don’t want to encourage you to soar. Most people are just happy for you to sit there and be on the couch with them and get exactly the same things out of life that you’re getting.

So reality is just surrounding yourself with really stupid people and it’s the easiest thing you can do. Find the brokest people you know, the people that have no money, find the people that have no ambition and find the people who hate everything. Make those your best friends and you’re going to be there in no time.

David Laroche: I love your answer because finally I don’t have to do a lot of things.

Steve Olsher: You don’t have to do anything! That’s the beauty of it. As a matter of fact if you do this really well, then you can have other people support you because you’re not capable of supporting yourself. So if you look miserable enough and you do enough things that are just really bad, I mean, hell, you can go to jail and you can get three squared meals a day, you can get a roof over your head. I mean, reality is it’s not such a bad thing, I mean, what are the other choices? You got to go out, you got to work hard, you got to prove to others that you have something to share, you have something that can add value to their lives. That’s a lot of work! Reality is there’s great daytime television. Let’s watch soap operas and let’s collect checks from the government. Let’s just eat government cheese.

David Laroche: Thank you very much.

Steve Olsher: You’re welcome.

David Laroche: I will try it before to share and I will send you news about that.

Steve Olsher: Please do. Keep me posted.

David Laroche: Thank you very much, Steve.

Steve Olsher: You’re welcome.

David Laroche: My last question it is without me. Did you see the video with Seth Godin?

Steve Olsher: Not yet, no.

David Laroche: The goal is to do short videos on success. My question will be, according to you, what will be the key factors of success? You can speak between 40 seconds to two minutes.

Steve Olsher: Just tell me when to go.

David Laroche: So, Steve, you look at the camcorder. So, Steve, what could be the key factors of success?

Steve Olsher: So, the key factors to success, in my opinion, at this particular stage of my life, is really all about, number one, be willing to go for “no”. I love that book. There’s a book called “Go For No”, check it out, because if you can go for no and be willing to take “no” as an answer, that will inherently lead to the “yes’” that you crave. Be willing to take risks, be willing to go out on the limb, be willing to be crazy because ultimately we’re like what Dr. Seuss says, “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” And it’s so true, because you got to make sure that you don’t live in the middle.

The key to success is you got to be polarizing. There’s no life in the middle. You’re going to have people lining up on either side of you, they’re going to love you or they’re going to hate you, but they damn well better know that you were here. If you want to be successful, that is they key. Be polarizing and make sure that people knew that you were here and that you had something to say.

David Laroche: Cool. One minute [00:54:00].

Steve Olsher: Perfect.

David Laroche: It’s great! I would love to have an endorsement.

Steve Olsher: Sure.

David Laroche: Do you prefer I ask you a question or I can let you…

Steve Olsher: Whatever you prefer. It’s your camera, it’s your time, however you want to do it.

David Laroche: Yes, I’ll let you do everything. Just before, my name is David and you can pronounce Laroche. In French we say “Laroche”, but you can pronounce it the American way, “Laroche”. Do it the way you want.

Steve Olsher: Ready?

David Laroche: Yes, ready.

Steve Olsher: So David Laroche is just an amazing person, and I got to tell you I wish that I had his energy, his enthusiasm and he’s just willing to go for no. My God, if I had been where he is now 20 years ago I can only imagine what my life and career would be like. I mean, I’m amazed with this guy, I’m honored to be a part of what he is doing and, really, if you are looking for someone who was on the cutting edge of just making an enormous and incredible change in the planet—of course overseas he’s doing already amazing things but even here watch what’s going to happen.

This is a man that you go to follow. And if you’re not following David, then you’re missing out because he is giving the best of the best to share their secrets of success and from my perspective, I learn as much from him as I’m sure he’s learned from me. So I highly recommend David and his work. I got to tell you, there are a few people out there who I have much admiration for now as I do for David, because he’s out there doing things and that, of course, is something that I whole heartedly admire.

David Laroche: Thank you very much.

Steve Olsher: You’re welcome.

David Laroche: It was an awesome endorsement.

Steve Olsher: Thank you. You’re welcome. I mean it. You guys obviously could be doing anything right now and here you are putting your heart and money to come here and invest in yourselves. That’s something a lot of people aren’t willing to do.

David Laroche: And we love to do that. We learn a lot from different types of people. It’s funny because, yes, we are people more in sales, more in marketing, more in spirituality and it gives us a global mindset. It’s awesome for us. You learn a lot.

Steve Olsher: Yes. Good. Well, I really do hope that you take this footage and do something amazing with it because you’re going to have some great stuff here.

Julie: Yes.

David Laroche: There is something I love in what you do. It is you’re able to teach, you do marketing and—I don’t know how to say that—maybe human marketing. It’s cool because in a lot of minds marketing is bad.

Steve Olsher: It can definitely be looked—

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