Discover your true self – Rickie Beckwith
David Laroche : So hello. Today, I'm very glad because I am with an inspiriting woman. And she is Rickie Beckwith. She is a singer, a composer, she is also the music and art director in the Agape Spiritual Center and it's a pleasure for me to be with her and I started interview in being inspired by her. So just follow this interview and, hello Rickie.
Rickie Beckwith : Hello David.
David Laroche : How are you today?
Rickie Beckwith : Is it David?
David Laroche : You can say, David.
Rickie Beckwith : Okay. David.
David Laroche : How are you today?
Rickie Beckwith : I'm good. [foreign language]
David Laroche : How do you want to introduce yourself? You are also an activist but how do you want to introduce yourself?
Rickie Beckwith : Well, I love people and when I was in South Africa once, they gave me another name. And the name that was given to me was Nobantu. And when they pull the name, they go like, “Nobantu.” And everybody was like, “Yes, she's the Nobantu.” And Nobantu means the one..it means the mother of the nation. The one who loves the people and the one that the people love, the one that people love. The people love her and she loves them. And so I'm that person. I'm just a lover of…
David Laroche : You lived in South Africa?
Rickie Beckwith : No, I didn't but I've been there several times.
David Laroche : Okay. It's your origin?
Rickie Beckwith : No. Well probably in some other life. But right now, my origin is America. Charlotte, North Carolina is where I was born but I have very close friends in Africa and a very strong relationship.
David Laroche : Yeah. Deep relationship.
Rickie Beckwith : Deep. Deep and musically, rhythmically, and humanly that there's just a spiritually…there's a relationship.
David Laroche : Yeah.
Rickie Beckwith : And it should be.
David Laroche : And what is the relationship between, for you, between music and love, happiness, and spiritualism?
Rickie Beckwith : Well, music is a thread in my life. Where some people can just turn music on and turn it off, music, for me, is…music turns me on. So it occurs to me. Music comes to me in my dreams. This morning, a song woke me up. So it's like a guide, kind of like a leader, you know? And so it's not just entertainment. It is like a map in many ways. So in my love life, music has defined what was coming before it came. It described Michael before he showed up. And I was singing once at a little temporary job I had in New York when I was an artist, a struggling artist in New York in my 20's, and I was singing while I was filing some papers and a psychic just… I didn't know the woman was a psychic but she was a psychic. And then she was like, “Oh, your voice, your music. Your music is going to go all over the world one day. And you're going to marry this man with a beard and a mustache and you guys are going to write music together and it's going to go all over the world and heal people's hearts.” And it was true.
David Laroche : When did you start to sing, to…?
Rickie Beckwith : By the way, that man that I met from the…she said from the west. So somebody came from the west with a beard and a mustache and I thought he was the guy. He wasn't but he was good. He was the father of my first two children. And then when I met Michael, Michael had a beard and mustache too. He was the man she was referring to. But I was singing and that's how she heard me. You know what I mean?
David Laroche : Yeah.
Rickie Beckwith : Music has been very much the thread through my vocations, all of it, everything. And so it's been…
David Laroche : When did you meet Michael?
Rickie Beckwith : I met Michael one year after Agape was opened. So I met Michael in 1987, November. 1987, a long time ago.
David Laroche : Yeah. I was not born.
Rickie Beckwith : Me either. I met him in my dreams. But really, I did meet him in 1987.
David Laroche : Wow. And…
Rickie Beckwith : And when I heard his voice, because, you know, everything is my ears. And so I'm talking music, I'm talking about my capacity and the great gift that I have that comes through my ears. And when I heard his voice, I could hear all the tones. I was like, “He knows.”
David Laroche : You heard him singing?
Rickie Beckwith : No. He just said good morning and I was like, “Okay.” He had me at hello. When he said good morning, I knew he knew something. I could hear it. It wasn't romance that I heard. It wasn't that. I heard…that would come later. But when I heard him say good morning, he began to talk and I was like, “Ooh.” I'd never heard a voice that sounded like his voice.
David Laroche : Wow, it's very inspiring.
Rickie Beckwith : Yes.
David Laroche : So let's talk about a couple… It was my last question but I begin the interview with this question. I am 25 years old and I have a lot of questions to draw. Opening to you, how can we create a long term relationship in a couple? What are the advice, the key factor of a long term relationship?
Rickie Beckwith : I don't have a clue. I really don't know. You know, I think it's taking…if there's ever an answer, the answer is right here. So to be present with our mate and the one that we love, the one that we are relating to every day, is to really be present. To bring our best to that person. To be honest and to really work on ourselves. I think the greatest gift we give each other is a better version of ourselves. And it's not like that we're working, working, working on being better, better, better, but just being honest, being loving, being caring, being considerate, and those are the things that I work at. And I need more work at that.
David Laroche : So if I'm to be sure to understand, if you grow yourself, your couple will grow?
Rickie Beckwith : Yeah. I mean it might grow together, it might grow apart. But at least, you'll be growing. You know sometimes you're in a relationship depending on the destiny and what it is about. I've been married three times and I never thought I would be married three times. I thought I was marrying a person that was like Michael every time. But it wasn't. They were who they were and we were immature. We were immature in the heart. We had to learn about ourselves, we had to grow, we had to discover what it really means to be, to love somebody even when it's hard to love. And to care for them more than what you care about for yourself.
David Laroche : So you are saying that maybe the first key factor to have a long-term relationship is to be with the right person?
Rickie Beckwith : Well yeah. That's an easy one. When you're with the right person, it's pretty cool. But if you're with somebody that in the end will prove to not to be the right person…
David Laroche : And how do you…
Rickie Beckwith : They were the right teacher.
David Laroche : Yeah.
Rickie Beckwith : You know, they were a good teacher. Because in this lifetime, you might not meet that person. You have to be willing to be okay with that. It's like I'm willing to be okay with being by myself, to learn who I am, to what I'm here to do. What are the gifts that I came to bring to the world? And I feel like if we're bringing our gifts to the world, we'll meet those people. We'll meet who we came to know and I did.
David Laroche : How do you know that Michael is the right person?
Rickie Beckwith : He was this morning. But you got to take it one moment at a time. I don't think anything is etched in stone even though people say it is. I just keep the door open for the event that maybe he'll have a change, that one day he might have a change of heart. He might choose…something else might happen in his heart and if that happens, I just love him so much. I just want to see him happy. I want him to be happy. I would want for him to want to be with me. I want to be with him. But if something shifted in his heart and he was like, “You know what, from this point on, maybe something shifted in me.” I got to go like, “Well, what shifted?” I mean I wouldn't just like, “Well, go on.” It was like, “Well, what shifted?” I'd want to know. What's inspiring him? What's calling him? That maybe it could help me. You know what I mean? But I hope you know.
David Laroche : Yeah. It's very interesting for me because you are saying that you are not excluding the possibility of being attracted by someone else during the journey.
Rickie Beckwith : Or maybe it's a vocation. Maybe it's a deeper calling to God. You know, maybe something calls Michael into the cave and me, into the mountain. But right now, what's really beautiful about our relationship, is that we get to say thank you. He treats me so well. He takes really good care of me and I sing for him. Hopefully, it balances. Yeah. Can I share something?
David Laroche : Yeah.
Rickie Beckwith : For the last 10 years, my mother has lived with us and I spent a lot of time with my mother. Time that I didn't really get to be with my husband. A lot of times because some…a lot of the time she was with us, she was healing from car accidents and different things she'd been in. So now, my mom has moved back to North Carolina and now for the first time in almost… I mean we've been married for 14 years. So now my house is really different. My life is different. My music is coming back. And I realized that the time he's allowed me to take care of my mother, he never complained. He allowed me to do what I had to do. And that's a very deep love.
David Laroche : Yeah.
Rickie Beckwith : And he looks at me and he laughs. I go like, “You know if you would… She's really pretty.” He goes like, “What are you talking about?” He's like, “I love you so much.” And I just accept that gift of somebody's love and that they would give me time to find time again. To be the way I'd like to be with him without being somebody's daughter every day.
David Laroche : Thank you for the sharing.
Rickie Beckwith : It's here, you're welcome. I don't know if it helps.
David Laroche : Yes. It is. It's very inspiring for me. I have another question about the couple. I do one on one coaching with people. Sometimes they are 40, 50 years old. So it's an amazing experience for me too. I have 25 years old and I coach people. Then sometimes, they have the triple of my age and I can discover their life in being their coach. And sometimes, I discover things about their couple and I have a lot of questions. Do you think it's… I can see that a lot of couple in for example, in 20 years of marriage, are sometimes attracted by someone else. I don't mean they go in another relationship. I just mean they are attracted. So do you think it's bad or do you think we can learn to manage the attraction of someone else?
Rickie Beckwith : Well, it just really does depend on the person and what they're working with. We're not all here playing from the same field. There are some people who are so calm, sober in the mind, very wise inside, and who can be patient and wonderful and loving. And then there are other people that are like puppy dogs. They're flirting all the time, they're running all over the place, but they come home. There's some men and women like that. I'm not that kind of person and I'm not with a person like that. So basically, I think you could learn to do anything that you want to do. You could learn to train your mind. You could learn to find your peace within, and not just with sex with somebody that looks like a movie star. But really finding the real peace which is inside. Not the P-I-E-C-E but the P-E-A-C-E. You know, to find what's real in life and when I was 25, I was…my heart was so open. It still is. It's like I love. I just love. It doesn't take a whole lot to satisfy me really. I just really want to know that I'm loved. And I think everybody wants to know that, that they're loved and that somebody cares for them. That you make a difference in my life and I want to be with you. And a lot of people are not that clear. It's like, “Well, I don't know if I want to be with you.” You do this, they're working out things. And what I'm learning will not be your lesson. Your lesson will be your lesson. What you'll learn from the person you're with will be what you would've learned from that person. A lot of it is just straight up pre-arranged like my daughter said in an interview that she had. She's like, “Hey you got to get that it's prearranged.” I was like, “What?” She says, “Oh yeah. It's prearranged. It's like we come here and it's already set up for us.” I was like, “Really?” And she was just giving the greatest interview with somebody and I was just listening. I was like, “Wow. She's right.” And she says, “You got to be willing to be by yourself and to be willing to wait on the person that's here that is for you. That is for you.” You know when a person is not right for you.
David Laroche : Okay. You are talking about your love. I have a question about love. I can see in my audience and friends, I have more than 5 millions of people who are seeing my videos, and I can see that the lack of love is a common struggle so and I struggle a lot about that and it's, maybe not finished, it's a continuous process. So how to learn to love ourselves because a lot of people are doing everything to be loved by others. They learned how to speak, how to…
Rickie Beckwith : Dress.
David Laroche : How to dress, how to smile. They learn everything but they… If they find a way to be loved by people, if they discover that they don't love themselves. So how can we do to start to love ourselves?
Rickie Beckwith : I think that's a beautiful question. I sing this song that says, I love myself so much that I can love you so much, that you can love you so much, that you can start loving me. And I say, “Is that the end? That you love me?” And serve the planet and they should add that line. That you can start loving me and bring your gifts to the world. But how does one… I think it's all about self-discovery. It's really discovering who we truly are and when we know that there is something very divine that we are made from. That we are not from…really, we are from the stars. We're shot from a very powerful, extraordinary pattern of perfection. And we're not taught that. We're taught that we're sinners, we're taught that we're the dust of the earth a lot of times that depending on who raised us, who our parents were. Sometimes they teach you that you're stupid, that you need to do this in order to be worthy. But if we can begin to see that we were worthy when we were made worthy. We were made from a worthy pattern, from a perfect pattern of existence and get that. It's like, and accept that, when I can accept that. Then the way I think about myself is like, “You know what? I can do a show and talk to people about the things that matter to me and not feel crazy about doing that.” And then have 5 million people tune in because they want to see. Because they see your beauty. They see how you've accepted yourself. But if you were in doubt about everything, you would never be able to even attract any of the things that it takes to do what you've done. We have to accept who we are. But first of all, we have to find out who we are and to do a study on who am I? And you listen to great teachers along the way. You spend time in nature.
David Laroche : Yeah. Just before the interview, you told me it's not about what I can get more but who am I.
Rickie Beckwith : Yes.
David Laroche : And yes, you started to answer the question but how can we find who we are? Because it's…
Rickie Beckwith : Because it's so far away but we are so close. You know, when we are more than… Let's start with what we're not. We're not just the flesh. We're not just 25. And we're not… That's your age?
David Laroche : Yeah.
Rickie Beckwith : We're not just French or American. We're not just black or white. We're not that. We are the spirit. We are of the spirit. We are of something that is really, really invisible. And when this body gets hurt and you look at your arm and it's broken or it's been chopped off or something, from war or some terrible disaster, you can see and if you're still alive, you go like, “Wow. But I'm still here. And I know that I'm more than what I thought I was.” I thought I was my arm, I thought I was my fingers, but I'm more than that. And when we give up the body, we find out we're more than they body because the spirit is still here. I mean sometimes you refer to it as ghost or energy beyond the flesh but we have all kinds of indications that we're more invisible than we are visible. And those invisible qualities are like love. We are loved, we are mighty, we are harmonious, we are extraordinary beings. We are made from this and to get to learn that part of our true nature, then we begin to go like, “Oh wow, I'm not just an artist out here struggling, wanting to get a record deal, to be famous.” It's like, “No. I came to bring my gift to this world.”
David Laroche : It's amazing because you answer my question without having to ask you the questions.
Rickie Beckwith : Oh, I'll talk less.
David Laroche : No. It's perfect.
Rickie Beckwith : I'm the worst with an interview.
David Laroche : No.
Rickie Beckwith : I talk too much.
David Laroche : You talk perfectly. I'm here to learn and to listen. Not to speak. So it's very interesting because you told…you just said to give your gift to the world and sometimes, I have people who just say, “Oh, but I don't know what are my gifts.” Or “I don't find my gifts. I feel myself as nothing.” So how do you know or how do you find your gift?
Rickie Beckwith : So I believe that your gift is tied to what you love to do. And I don't mean smoking weed or intoxicants or drinking wine. I think it's your gift is what it is that…what is that thing that makes you come alive? I worked in Los Angeles Unified School District with a group of…with a team of people that went in to do an empowerment course with these students that were really forgotten. I mean in a really ugly building, poor lighting. It was just really sad on a lot of levels but we went in there two hours a week with our teams of people. And the first thing we did was to see…was to give them an exercise where they would discover the words of… First, it was like name people who inspire you in your life. Well, they're dead. Oh, well nobody inspires me. You had to work with them. And then they would put, “Now what about them inspires you?” Okay. And then they began to list those qualities. Well, they're happy, they're inspiring, they're…and it was just one word to describe these people, okay? And then we began to take all those different qualities and how many got three numbers? How many got five? How many got six? And we got the six top qualities. And then on the back, they filled in the blank of those qualities. You know, loving, of the people that they love. And then, the line above that that was covered is what was revealed to them, is this is who I came to be. They were attracted by the greatness in these other people because it was in them. You see?
David Laroche : Yes. You are saying that if you are inspired by someone, it's because you love something in them. And what you love in them, it's what you have and you need to unleash it?
Rickie Beckwith : Yes. Yes. And sometimes, there's an obvious gift. Like there's a very strong music gift. Like mine was very musically. I had a strong music gift but I also have a beautiful writing gift that I didn't discover, but I love writers. And I love writers. So now I write. But I loved the writers because there was a writer in me. And then sometimes we just… Our gift is love and loving communication. So we'll be somebody that interviews people and bring them to a sense of who they are. We'll be a teacher, you know?
David Laroche : Yeah.
Rickie Beckwith : But we can find it. Our heart will tell you. You look inside your heart, you ask the questions. You just write it down. What is it that… If I were going to die, If I heard I was going to die tomorrow, in three weeks, three months, what would be important to me? You, your gifts emerge real quick.
David Laroche : Yeah. And I believe, you will say if you agree, I believe that sometimes…but not sometimes, often people know what are their gifts but they feel fear because it needs courage to take the way, to enter the way that you will live with your gift.
Rickie Beckwith : Live from the gift.
David Laroche : From the gift. Sometimes I have people, they say, “Oh, I love to sing,” and I love to ask them why not to love in singing. And usually, for example, they work in an office. It's just a patient but they don't believe it's possible to live as a singer. Because there are many examples of people who are struggling in singing, in the singing industry. So…
Rickie Beckwith : But the singing industry is the problem.
David Laroche : Yeah.
Rickie Beckwith : You see, it is not the gift of the singer. It's the equating that we have to be in the singing industry to deliver the gift. And that is the problem.
David Laroche : Yeah. Let's explain, please.
Rickie Beckwith : Well, it's like, we are indoctrinated into believing that…or programmed. That's a better word. We're programmed to believe that a gift has to go this way in order to feed you. And that a gift is supposed to feed you. And a gift is supposed to inspire you. First of all, it's supposed to inspire you and inspire others, that they would be inspired by what you do. That's the point. And sometimes, what a singer will do with a great gift will be so mediocre though they make money. So now they're making money, they're in the singing industry, but they're not happy. You have most drug addicts that are musicians than probably any other industry. Well, I don't know that you can qualify that, quantify that. So I'll say this, I know a lot of people that have problems with drugs that were great musicians. And a lot of it had to with that they were disappointed in the world. And I'm thinking like, “Wow, you got this enormous gift but it's not being served.” It's being used to make money but it's not serving your heart.
David Laroche : Yeah. I see.
Rickie Beckwith : Yeah. It would be better to get a job as a baker, as a street sweeper, and do that with joy, and sing at your church or sing at an old age facility or do a children's book of music or just use your imagination for all the ways your music could be used to make people feel good inside. You know?
David Laroche : Yeah.
Rickie Beckwith : At first, it might not make you any money. It doesn't matter. You're making money doing something…
David Laroche : Is it because you are inspired by what you are doing?
Rickie Beckwith : Yes. Yes. And your life will be better than if you were a professional singer that made money off of music that had no purpose. You know?
David Laroche : Yes. I understand.
Rickie Beckwith : Yeah. When I came to Agape, I was so sad. See, I can talk about this because I was the person that wanted the record deal. I was the person that just had so many questions. “Why does that person get to get a deal and I don't?” And I have a song that says, it said…well, it was like, “I cursed and I wondered why some fly and some just stumble. I wept alone… I crept alone and wept alone, a good part of 15 years, wondering why, why, why?” The next verse says, “But I sang to who would listen.” After dinner, around the piano, folks would just gather to hear the messages that life would send to me. I sang to my son and my daughter. I sang for lovers at the altar. I sang for weddings like that. And then it says, “I sang for those who drank and wept alone at bars.” I sang at bars. For the good part of 15 years, that's what I did. And then in the middle of the song, it says, “And it didn't seem like a great life.” It took another 15 years for me to finally realize that living is why we get a life. We get a life to live. We don't get a life to be famous. We don't get a life to doing…we get a life to live and to enjoy our friends, our families, our planet. And so I sang. So in the next 15 years, I want to be delighted in the real things like hearty conversations of peaceful co-existence, sharing with my loved ones and sharing with the earth. And then it says, “I marvel and wonder that somehow some way, I stumbled upon this life worth living but I sang along the way.” In this 15 years, that's what I did. So that was a journey of years of just learning about myself. You know, we get a life not to be famous. We get a life to live and to discover who we are and what is it that we do that makes the world a better place. That's why you get a life.
David Laroche : Yeah. And what is your relationship with money and being famous? Do you think it's bad?
Rickie Beckwith : No. I don't think anything is bad except for the way we hold it. But if fame, if money is more important…money is here to serve the planet. Fame is here to serve the planet. So if my fame is the way I get to get other people who don't care about what's happening with people who are suffering on this planet, if my fame can make them really turn inside and serve other people and help somebody, then that's a good reason to be famous. That's something good to do with your fame.
David Laroche : Yeah. I love that.
Rickie Beckwith : Yeah. If you got money, you do like people with money who give. They circulate it. They go like, “Oh, I got billions of dollars.” Like the guy with Tesla, The Tesla Corporation?
David Laroche : Yeah.
Rickie Beckwith : He goes like, “Hey I don't… I got all this money. I don't need any more money.” He's like, “I got enough money. Let me share this so this will make the world better.” Yeah. But you don't have to have billions to have enough money. You can have enough money just every day. It's like, “Hey, we have enough.” We have so much in the west. We have so much. It's like, “Well how much do you need? How many shoes from Zara do you need?”
David Laroche : You are very inspiring. I love this interview.
Rickie Beckwith : Oh, thank you. Thank you, David. You have good questions.
David Laroche : What are your source of inspiration?
Rickie Beckwith : Okay. The sunshine is strong with me. I love a sunny day.
David Laroche : It's a sunny day.
Rickie Beckwith : Yeah. I love my son and my daughter and my husband, my mother, my family, is a source of inspiration. My God, the God I have inside, the…my inspiration, my divine connection inspires me. But it's music, just my life. I have such a good life. It's been such an incredible journey and it's been hard sometimes, really, really hard. You know, sometimes. But it's taught me so much that I came to learn. So I guess the answer to that question is my journey inspires me. Yeah.
David Laroche : And how do you manage this kind of struggle? Because you, just you are saying that you had struggles and many people have struggles, but sometimes we forget that it's to help them to grow. So what do you do when you have a problem?
Rickie Beckwith : Well, now I just… I return to the truth. What is the truth? Not what is the fact? But what is the truth? I did a music and… I did a festival called the Rhythm and Joy festival and it was birthed in 2013. We did it again this year and we're going to do it again next year and keep doing it. It's a transformational music and arts festival. It's a beautiful festival. But I knew nothing about doing festivals. And it cost a lot of money that I didn't have. So it left me with this enormous debt and I wasn't used to being in that kind of debt, people calling me for money, “Where's my money?” Not knocking on my door but emails and I would… And every time I answered anybody, it would be like, “I understand what you're feeling.” I'd have to go very compassionate. I couldn't go like, “You should know my reputation. I'm going to pay you back. What's wrong with you?” I couldn't do that. It had to be very compassionate communication, very patient with them, very benevolent, very and much in gratitude. And that's how I just faced the problem of that there wasn't…that I didn't have enough. It's like, “I have enough. I just don't have it all right now. It's coming to me. It's coming to me, and when it comes to me, it'll come to you.” And I just kept saying that. It kept coming to me. The money kept coming. I kept paying people back. And it keeps coming, I keep paying people back. So what I do, the answer to that question is I just return to the truth. . The truth is not the condition. The truth is what is the divine pattern of this universe? It is abundance. It is love. It is created. It is wonderful. It is magnificent. So I return there then I go like, “Okay, there is an answer here.” But if the problem is so big and I can't see it, especially in my 20s and I wasn't this… I was this person but I wasn't fully developed. I wouldn't know that I'm fully developed now but I'm better than I was. But at 25, it's like, fortunately, people around me would remind me when I forgot. So I surround myself with people who can remind me of the truth.
David Laroche : So your environment is very important?
Rickie Beckwith : Very important. Yeah. And if you're the smartest person in it, that's scary. You want to be around people that you can learn from . Not that they're smarter than you, but that they might be more aware of some things than you are. You want to always be… Surround yourself with people who can remind you, but don't lean on them all the time. Learn to stand on your own, but be reminded. And I remember there was a time when I really…the sadness was just too great. It was a serious depression. I didn't know that all that chocolate, that milk chocolate I was eating was really making me really sad. I thought it was making me feel good but it was making me sick. And plus I was very disappointed in my love life, in my singing, in the industry, in all the things that were just not for me. I was in places that were not for me. I wasn't supposed to be there. And so, and now just was this one, I said I got to…you know, I can't do this . And now decided that night that I was going to kill myself. And I don't know how I knew, I just figured I'd heard that you can put your head in the oven with the gas off and that would kill you. And I was going to the oven and the phone rang and it was my brother. He just called. My brother hardly ever called me but he called me then. Because it was time for me to cash in on the gifts and the kindness and the love that I have put out into the world. And that phone call came at the nick of time. And he's like, “Oh you just think that…” And he gave me the truth. He says, “Oh, you're going to be all right sis.” He says, “You're just…” He says, “It's like there's a river and you're on one side and the good that you're trying to get to is on the other side. But you don't raise, you don't realize that you are the good. That it's in you. You're it.” I was like, “Oh wow.” And I had to integrate that. And then sometimes, it's time to go, so people die. You know, sometimes it's just time for them to go this time. But it wasn't time for me to go because it was prearranged. I had to meet Michael. I had to meet the wrong man to get me to LA and have children, you know? And then be invited by this person to come sing at his church that I didn't want to go because I'm going like, “I'm not doing it.” But he said he'd pay me more money than I was making. So I was like, “Okay, I'll come.” And I show up at the church and I go like, “Wow.” And then he gets up there and he says, “Good morning.” I go like, “Oh my God.” It was my destiny. You can't plan that, but you can plan for it.
David Laroche : Thank you very much.